The White House (satireworld.com)

President Bill Clinton served in office from 1992 through 2000. During that time Oval Office Sex was a prime concern of the American people as rumors swirled and innuendo became dreaded reality…The President of the United States was indeed having illicit sex in the Oval Office with an employed intern half his age! The resulting scandal was referred to as simply ‘Zippergate.’

After 15 years of experimentation, producers of the reality show "The Bachelorette" realized selecting a husband by chance worked just as well as a 15-week dating show.

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com)
“Bollocks to global warming is now official UK government policy,” a spokesperson at the newly-created Ministry for Big Oil Relations said today as new British Prime Minister Theresa May wielded the ax to the Tories’ long term flagshit shop window, the Department for the Environment and Climate Change.

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com)

Psycho-surgeons at the Russia Investigation say a succubus – or female sex demon – may have sucked out the President’s brain and laid an egg in the flaccid cavity. So expect more crazy hatch-lings to soon pop out.

“Good, Bobby.” Norquist patted his gimp’s masked head. He reached down a little further and opened the zipper over his gimp’s mouth. “Bobby … speak.”

The doppelgänger of American comedian Zach Galifianakis was awarded the title role in the new Royal Shakespeare Company's production of Hamlet this week. Here's what you need to know.

Kellyanne, sidelined for a week.

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – (SatireWorld.com)
Alone and penniless for the first time, Fatima Bin Laden was forced to leave Pakistan last year and find work in her home country of Saudi Arabia after US Navy SEALS put an end to her husband Osama’s career as a world renown terrorist several years ago.

A Brooklyn man's daring plan to preserve the "Necco" candy brand would require extraordinary measures never before used in the confectionery industry.

"It's still a better love story than Twilight." Jessie Krufts, Bean Counter

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has confirmed that President Donald Trump is the new Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). Spicer made this announcement earier today in an official tweet: The Senate confirmed Trump along mostly party lines. Democrats who opposed the nomination said that Trump…

Blondes still have more fun, but their advantage has eroded significantly in recent years, say scientists at Stockholm University in Sweden. Sweden's parliament, the Riksdag, is considering what action to take.

Cirque d'Estre, France – (SatireWorld.com)
On Sunday, December 18, 1994, Jean-Marie Chauvet led his two friends, Brunel and Hillaire, on the Cirque d'Estre toward the far off cliffs. A slight draft of cool air emanating from a small opening at the end of a small cave attracted his attention on a previous trip, and he now wanted to satisfy his curiosity once and for all.

Knick and James are reunited to talk about intercourse with people of the felt persuasion. Then Knick crosses a line and James almost loses it. Almost.

No brain activity necessary to perform even high-level tasks, study reveals.

Philadelphia, PA – (satireworld.com)
Just How Stupid Does Hillary Think Voters Are?

The Democratic National Convention kicked off today with swirling rumors there was collusion between Debbie Wasserman-Schultz emails and Hillary Clinton concerning the sabotage of the Bernie Sanders Presidential campaign. This accusation highlights the unfair Clinton advantage that cost millions of dollars from Bernie donors and countless hours of the Sander Campaign volunteer’s time.

Washington, DC –
The Trump White House is not the first to be unsatisfied with the work performance of Omarosa Manigault, the former senior Trump staffer who already released secretly recorded conversations she had with the president and Chief of Staff John Kelly.

Providence, RI – The Clay Mathematics Institute awards 1 million dollars to any individual that can solve one of the seven Millennium Prize Problems.  Dr. Grigoriy Perelman is a recent winner by solving the Poincare conjecture.

Local Dallas resident, Eric Naughtbright, was shocked by the punctuation-filled response he received after asking his wife of eight years if she was having her exclamation point again.

The events of the past week prompt Jeremy to set aside his shitty jokes, news quiz, and Five Questions for an honest and open discussion with Jeramaine Jingles and Mike Honore about race relations in Baton Rouge and the rest of the country, as well as their personal experiences interacting with law enforcement and white people.