Presidential candidates used their summer vacations to improve themselves – here’s how. Time to yodel a big old welcome back to the same old grind from our too brief summer respite. And yes, that does include the umpteen-gazillion presidential candidates returning from their home districts with batteries and bank accounts recharged.

Bloomfield, NJ—Amidst the recent east coast blizzard, 26-year-old tenant of Crestridge Apartments E3, Kyle Gustafson, has a plan to “finally hit on that girl in E4.” The plan, which many are calling ‘stupid’, involves his waiting until she watches all 49 episodes of American Horror Story on Netflix. There are so many problems with Mr. Gustafson’s plan, not the…

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.

by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with ... Read moreRipping the Headlines Today, 3/5/18Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.

by Michael Egan.Nobel Prize accolade for ‘The greatest slam poet of his generation, who sure knew how to deliver a punch line!’ STOCKHOLM – Following its shock 2016 Literature Nobel Prize award to folk singer Bob Dylan, the Nobel committee today granted a “a special posthumous literary award” to the late Muhammad Ali, author of the immortal [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

With infallible regularity, each and every news cycle the rightwing alchemists transmute the obscene and the aberrant into mainstream gold. We may well be on the verge of another Nixon-style Saturday Night Massacre Saturday, but instead of the resignation speech to follow we’ll probably see a pre-Iraq-invasion like ‘next logical step.’ Fox News Alert: Most…

The Frozen North—At the edge of the permafrost region of the Alaskan Arctic Circle-K, just north of the Home Depot, a group of intrepid explorers have discovered the best preserved remains of the elusive Snuffleupagus. Expedition head Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Gastropub, told reporters, “This discovery changes everything we know about early Pleistocene Muppets. For one…

Hillary had to morph into a political cyborg to bust through the glass ceiling. Striding onto the Philadelphia stage resplendent in a white pants suit like a heavenly sent business bride walking down the aisle to tie the knot with America, Chelsea’s mom jettisoned the “presumptive” and accepted the Democratic Party’s invitation to become their...

Let’s marry my ongoing GOP-ineptitude narrative with my research on cognitive distortions. Don’t worry, with jokes! The cognitive pitfall of all cognitive pitfalls is actually (drum roll) …normalcy bias! This particular distortion will play a role in November as well as our collective demise. You see, Republicans are like terrorists in that they only have to get this…

In a bow to our supposed new President, I submit this missive attempting to recreate the style of communicating that Donald Trump does best, in order to express myself properly to those who elected him.

New York, NY—Donald J. Trump is once again defending his controversial comments today. During an interview with Fox News’ Chris Wallace, Mr. Trump attempted to defend his earlier comments regarding the U.S.’s ongoing defense of our NATO allies. “Take Japan,” said Trump. “I used to be in the protection racquet and you pay for that. Everyone pays for that. Back…

Paid for by the Partnership for a Republican Free America.

by Humor Times.Contest Winners Here are the Humor Times Cartoon Caption Contest Winners for the contest ending Dec. 1, 2015. To enter the current contest, go to our Cartoon Caption Contest. Please [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

by Roz Warren.Is there a right place and a wrong place to do things like Tai Chi, Yoga and Snake Poses? When I was in high school, I had a good friend whose boyfriend did Tai Chi. ... Read moreSnake Poses on a PlaneSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.

by Gary Chew.“99 Homes” – a film review by Gary Chew It was a trip to San Francisco that gave me the good fortune to hear, in person, the director of the new film, 99 Homes. Ramin Bahrani talked about how much on-scene research he and his crew did prior to finishing up the script and shooting [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.

The 26th Anniversary Issue of the Humor Times is coming, just in time for desperately needed comic relief! In these strange times, people are worried, and in desperate need of some comic relief. We are committed to doing our civic duty by providing it! And our most popular issue of the year is coming out.

Gotham—After Elon Musk announced his desire to take Tesla private, many are wondering if he really has the 10-billion in petty cash needed to privatize his company. Musk’s recent celebrity sighting with billionaire Bruce Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, has stoked rumors Musk has already lit the ‘Bruce Signal’. President Trump is threatening to squash any merger between the two giants…

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...