“Prancer took a ground-to-air missile right in the keister last year. Luckily, he’s into that kind of thing.” —Santa Claus *Blitzenkreig & Holly Jolly Jihad joke both removed by the editor and repackaged for Humorfeed.

Beige has now been officially declared the ‘new black’ on the Isle of Wight. The popularity of beige trousers, skirts and jackets has seen most other colours, other than duck egg blue, relegated to the recycling bin. Top clothing outlets, including Newport High Street’s Edinburgh Woollen Mill, are fast running out of beige slippers and blousons.

Dog-whistle politics is a term that describes statements made by political candidates and people in elected positions phrased in ways intended to galvanize support from like-mined voters. At the same time such political revenuers try to avoid repulsing voters who are on the fence. “Family values” might be an example of a dog-whistle. Lately a…

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - When she concluded her closing statement during the last Democratic Presidential Debate earlier this month, Hillary Clinton wished the American voters: 'May the Force be with you!" Pandering to the millions of Star Wars fans, Clinton may just have found the magic bullet to clinch her party's nomination. There could not have…

Raytheon announced today an exciting addition to its line of air-to-ground missiles: the AGM-98 “Hell Pig”, an air-to-ground missile with a two-pound can of bacon grease.

Berlin, Germany (satireworld.com)
Mohammed says he doesn’t miss Syria any longer, especially the daily threats of violence and a life filled with occasional chaos. Today, Mohammed gets up every morning and drives his new S-series Mercedes Benz to his custodial job at the Entomology Center at Nordic Peoples Pharmaceutical Company in suburban Berlin, where he cleans laboratories and keeps the floors highly waxed.

Paris – For anyone that was not able to be in Paris during the holiday season to see the exquisite lights, shame on you.  How long are you going to let yourself be the poor bastard that doesn’t treat yourself to the very best in the world?

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and loose cannon billionaire Donald Trump declared he was very afraid U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont - a Democratic presidential candidate - will steal his supporters away by offering Americans actual solutions to the issues they are so angry and frustrated about. Trump criticized Sanders for attempting to expose him as the billionaire fraud he actually was, and giving Americans rational alternatives to punitive non-solutions based on hate and fear.

MENLO PARK, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Mark Zuckerberg is tired of the hoax that has been circulating on Facebook, asking users to share a supposed message that the Facebook founder is giving away $4.5 Million to 1,000 people. Well, if you can't lick 'em, join 'em. That's what Zuckerberg is doing exactly. Today, Zuckerberg announced…

Palm Beach, FL – (satireworld.com)

A list of people who have associated with convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein over the years would take in the world of celebrity, science, politics…and now ex-presidents and royalty. Over the past few years, the tea sipping yoga practicing financier has been linked with ex-US President Bill Clinton and a member of the royal family.

God has flooded Hillary Benn's constituency only days after his rowsing Independence Day speech calling for air strikes in Syria, and during the holiest of days of the year when God is about more than normal, notes a man who went to church every day as a child.

DENVER (The Barbed Wire) - Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning is fuming this week amid rumors he used human growth hormone (HGH) to recover from surgery several years ago. Al Jazeera, the source of record for football in the United States, claims in a report that Manning was supplied steroids from a clinic in Indianapolis in 2011.

Davenport, IA – Dallas Northcutt and his son, Lucas, decided that an uncharacteristically cold and snowy December day provided a perfect opportunity to get out onto the local hills and go sledding after a great Christmas holiday.  Lucas got his snow pants on, grabbed his sled, and bundled up to get ready for an amazing afternoon.  Dad didn’t grab his sled this time like he normally does.

'It's really important that we give the little children all we can until the war is won,' said Prime Minister David Cameron in his annual message. 'Not that we started it, of course. We didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the world was turning. Is that right?’

“This may be the most significant blow to X-Mas since Seal Team Soros took out FAO Schwartz.” —General B. Humbug

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) - A 7-year-old Chihuhua mix has filed a lawsuit in Nevada against an unnamed Las Vegas resort and casino hotel for fraudulent charges on her MasterCard. In the complaint filed today in a Nevada district court, the dog, Robin, said in a sworn statement that she and her owner checked…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the results of a TNA study were released and showed over 67% of Americans were eager for a new ground war in the Middle East, which will initially target the Islamic State (ISIS) before putting Iran in its sights. The hawkish Americans asserted there should always be money for war, and American citizens should have to pay the price of funding the overseas empire with cuts to social safety net programs, education, infrastructure, and healthcare, among many other things.

An estimated 2,000 useless Arizonans were deported from the state this week following the passage of a new law that many complain could lead to profiling and other abuse.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

According to liberal pundits, national figures in the right-wing media have a puzzling habit of attacking Democratic National Committee chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s hair. They have coupled this with other sexist attacks…For instance, Rush Limbaugh’s description of her as “one of those women you’re happy somebody else married.”
Here's a few current comments about Frizzle-dwarf and her hair….