Zano’s recent reflections on our decade-plus debate showed some rare insights. What next, funny jokes? The causes of our nation’s polarization are many, but there’s more than meets the eye when it comes to our political divisions. I’ve recently come to the conclusion the ultra-powerful people in the world do prosper by keeping our nation divided. They do this by…
Since then our relationship with the Trump Administration has become strained peas.
Debating the merits of the republican party is futile, because they don’t have any. Endlessly conveying to my blogvesary how discourse is dead has become, Ray Charles at a shooting range, aimless. Polarization has led us to this place of irreconcilable political differences. To his credit, Pokey saw this coming too. Whereas he blames liberalism for creating an immoral societal malaise, I place the…
Studio City, CA—The Hallmark Channel has released a statement apologizing for the airing all seven movies from the Saw franchise on prime time television last Sunday. The network would like to remind its viewers this was a single incident, or seven single incidents (if you want to get technical), but Hallmark wants to reassure its viewers that they plan to remain dedicated to producing really lame family-targeted entertainment. The…
Kidding. But seeing how he is the grandfather of polarization, we did tweak the cover for him a bit.
Tweet Tower—President Trump signed an executive order today demanding that former President Barack Obama vacate his head immediately. The White House was originally calling this a series of ‘wire tapping’ incidents, but is now referring to them as ‘voices’ inside the president’s brain. Trump describes these voices as incessant and derogatory. Fine, he said, “They’re constantly saying nasty…
Tweet Tower—Despite attacks from the press, President Trump remained focused on the positives today, mainly, how many negatives he has accumulated in such a short period of time. When asked specifically about his promise to have more scandals than Obama in his first 30 days, Trump maintained how his administration is still on an unprecedented scandal pace (USP). “Obama had too…
Tweet Tower—Members of Politifact, FactCheck.org and Snopes are threatening to permanently logoff the job after President Trump announced earlier today that he would be cutting their overtime pay. These pay cuts are designed to help finance both fixing the nation’s infrastructure as well as military equipment designed to obliterate the nation’s infrastructure. “Or at least the infrastructure of our more liberal towns…
Pokey is singlehandedly blowing up our comment threads again, which is actually a welcome change from the usual spam. As tradition dictates, most of his comments equate to the old rightwing bait-n-switch. Whether he realizes it or not, the right’s recent social media two-step is an effort to quell the increasing cognitive dissonance and avoid the whole, ‘Oops, we kind of elected a…
Two Guns No Clue
DailyDiscord 2615 days ago News Satire guns clue All http://www.dailydiscord.com Discuss
Yeah, this is an unscripted ghost investigation… and, boy, should we go with a script next time.
Kidding, there’s a republican super-majority so he’s only one of many dangers.
Tweet Tower—Did you listen to that entire press conference? It was like reading Lord of the Rings backwards. We must get the One Coherent Thought from Mt. Doom back to that pub in the Shire! At this rate by 2020 the GOP can just legislate by scribbling their laws on the walls of a truck stop restroom. Maybe Betsy DeVos…
Burlington, VT—Sixteen-year-old Trent Drury admitted earlier today how he and two of his friends are responsible for summoning the current president from the nether realms. The boy told reporters, “Sorry everyone, we really didn’t think it would work. We thought Ouija was just a another game like Monopoly, Clue or that Evil Dead book made from…
Taos, NM—Paleoproctologist, Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Lube is back in the news today. The controversial scholar has announced his intention to create a facility off the coast of South America for the purpose of cloning dinosaur tissue. Dr. Hogbein told the press he plans to “bring taco Tuesday up a notch.” Critics of the…
Bigly fine tuned. Not like clockwork, more like Clockwork Orange.
Fellow Discord contributor Pokey McDooris had some thoughtful comments after my last feature—blatantly wrong, but thoughtful. At one point he implied how either a Trump or a Sanders vote signified a vote against the establishment. Whereas that is certainly true on some level, it’s like confusing apples to orangutans. Those two politicians represent either end of the political and evolutional spectrum. It’s like comparing the…
Preview Of course, the world may end with a bang and a Trumpster, which is as close to multitasking as these people get.
Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky told the Discord today that his company is in direct negotiations with the White House. The most successful peer-to-peer home rental company is now trying to partner with government for what they are describing as some prime unoccupied real estate. “When we think Trump appointees, we envision a lot of space,” said Chesky, “so why not…
Trump calling poorly decided court outcomes “fake verdicts” in an effort to keep doing the “right” thing.
“Woe to the inhabitants of the Earth for the devil is come down to you, having big hands, because he knows that he has but a short time before his impeachment.” —Abacab tour