Vatican City – Pope Francis, ahead of a visit to the United States starting September 22nd, has wasted no time in creating a wave of hope for the God fearing church goers as well as the sinful dirty atheists.
Independence, KY – For the 12th year in a row, some crazy lady in Kentucky has agreed to have 30 animals in her 1400 square foot home at one time. The animals are all technically ‘pets’ but some are more domesticated than others.
Simi Valley, CA – As expected, all candidates not named Trump took aim at the frontrunner in the polls in the most recent debate. For the most part, Trump was able to dodge the feeble attacks from the other weak candidates.
Los Angeles, CA – Looking as fit and confident as ever, Hillary Clinton stood before a small group of admirers as she was sworn in as an honorary member of The Charlie’s Angels Society of Greater Los Angeles.
Lake Jackson, TX – Ron Paul has given up his bid to become Commander In Chief and frankly doesn’t have high hopes for his son, Rand.
San Francisco, CA – Art shows are often smug, boring, and crawling with assholes you hope to never meet on the street. A heart-warming story developed at such a show recently, starring a semi-famous band named The Shins.
Washington – It’s getting harder and harder to tell if GOP candidates running for president are saying things to differentiate themselves or just losing their minds. Today on NBC’s Meet The Press, Scott Walker launched an offensive lob towards Canada.
Dresden – Medical scientists in Germany acknowledged this week that a local woman has given birth to a 24 year old man. No one outside of Germany has actually seen the man but it is believed that he is approximately 5’9″ tall, weighing about 145 pounds.
Kalamazoo, MI – My name is Miranda and my house is right next to a Mexican restaurant called El Gato.
Ponte Vedra Beach, FL – PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem is well liked by players and has helped to create more and more millionaires. Finchem is looking to take the game of golf to new heights and knows there are some significant hurdles in his way.
New York, NY – The Jolly Green Giant stopped by CBS This Morning today for an unannounced visit. The show was already filled up with segments about how to cook healthier pork, kids that scream in the grocery store, and a Gayle King editorial about the rising prices of handbags.
Wallingford, IA – While Donald Trump continues to strike a chord with potential voters with his anti-conventional political antics, he may soon have some serious competition. Deez Nuts, a candidate born in the small farming country of Iowa, is currently polling third in the state of North Carolina.
Lake Forest, IL – February blues. That’s how 14 year old Manny Worthem puts it. We found him hanging out at a local Denny’s by himself drinking soda after soda and drowning his sorrows in a massive stack of pancakes.
Philadelphia, PA – After being given an 18th chance at being a starting quarterback in the NFL, Tim Tebow knows that this is a critical time for him to show what he can do. Always the lightning rod, Tebow goes against most conventions people are comfortable with. He flaunts his religious beliefs and doesn’t hide the fact that he’s left-handed.
Boston, MA – Last week, the great city of Boston was site to the annual PETA national conference. You’d figure with so many radicals with a common purpose in one place, there would be nothing but agreement happening all over the place.
San Diego, CA – Unless you live in California, you probably don’t know Braxton Spooner. Local residents view him as a bit of a celebrity. The state is a regular when it comes to severe weather and Brax (as he prefers local residents to refer to him) consistently puts them at ease with his accurate forecasts and his million dollar smile.
Jacksonville, FL – It’s no secret the world is moving faster than ever. There is more stress and less time to sleep. For the millions who have various sleep disorders, this is a recipe for severe anxiety and depression.
Russell, KS – Look into 92 year old Bob Dole’s eyes. No, really look. What do you see? Great American? Yes. Proud veteran? Absolutely. A man who lived a full and worthwhile life? Most of us may not know the true answer to that but let’s go with “OK” on that one.
Cleveland – As the waters start to swirl with GOP sharks hopeful to take over Obama’s office, some alarming trends have surfaced after the first debate. Recent polls show that 43% of Americans say they will leave the country if their candidate does not prove successful in the next open election.
Bill Nye ‘The Science’ Guy recently attacked the sacred idea of creationism on a YouTube video. The Internet and news programs have lit up with those on the side of creationism and those on the side of evolution.