"Hmmm. That sounds horribly like pigs in blankets and we all know how that turned out."
Jeremy Corbyn, the most lookilikie to Father Christmas of all the Labour Party leader candidates gave an interview on the telly today.
A man dressed as a man down the pub has won the Eurovision Song Contest for the first time in 60 years, it was revealed last night.
Canapes, some including shrimp and rolled up salmon, could be the long looked for link to finding the end of cancer, researchers at a party told our reporter last night.
Fears were growing last night that pandas, some as old as 5, were pooping too much from all the bamboo they eat, according to scientists.
"I was hoping he would flip one of the pancakes onto his back and then he could hilariously run round and round at a glacial pace chasing his own tail! Disappointed."
"They need a tie-in brand of hotdog's to go with this series."
"The cat seems to be meowing in English. Hilarious. I bet they can't understand a word it's saying."
Scotland are to boycott the World Cup in 2018, bringing to 4 the number of World Cups they have boycotted since 1998, according to a source with a pronounced Scottish accent.
"I prefer him playing a slacker with no goals and ambitions. Who is this LaBeouf?"
Spoof horoscopes - June 2015
A SELECTION OF OUR MOST PRESTIGIOUS AWARDS
Hog Huggers Horoscope Of The Millennium So Far
Marsupials Daily, Most Accurate Horoscope, March 2013
Anti Swearing League Horoscope Of The Year Special Mention For Not Cursing, July 2014
Water Slider Horoscope Of The Year 2014
'Funny Horoscope Best Read With Raspberry Jelly-Jam At Breakfast Award' From 'The Toast For Breakfast Jelly-Jam Association' 2013 (also runner up in the 'Blackcurrant Jelly-Jam' category and highly commended in both the Strawberry Jelly-Jam and Marmalade sections)
We have been availab
A SELECTION OF OUR MOST PRESTIGIOUS AWARDS
Hog Huggers Horoscope Of The Millennium So Far
Marsupials Daily, Most Accurate Horoscope, March 2013
Anti Swearing League Horoscope Of The Year Special Mention For Not Cursing, July 2014
Water Slider Horoscope Of The Year 2014
'Funny Horoscope Best Read With Raspberry Jelly-Jam At Breakfast Award' From 'The Toast For Breakfast Jelly-Jam Association' 2013 (also runner up in the 'Blackcurrant Jelly-Jam' category and highly commended in both the Strawberry Jelly-Jam and Marmalade sections)
We have been availab
A noticeably heavier looking Sepp Blatter dropped food he was eating on the ground just moments after resigning allofasudden, according to our man at the scene.