Stamford, CT – Lizzy Morgan is a normal 6 year old girl who loves her chicken. “She’s kind of a picky eater,” says Mom. “The one thing she will eat religiously is chicken.
Batavia, IL – Researchers from a lab in Batavia recently reported that the number of pills in the world are quickly overtaking the human population. For every one person, there are approximately six pills floating somewhere out there in the world.
Phoenix, AZ – “It’s the most irresponsible and heinous act that I’ve witnessed in my 20 years on the force,” explains Sergeant David Willingham. “I’m no court judge but the owners of this car and beautiful AR-15 should be locked up with the key thrown away. If there was intent, I can only pray that the death penalty is explored as an option for punishment.”
We do not write advice because you can’t teach stupid and you cannot change stupid. However, we do talk to a lot of people and have discovered some common traits amongst people that are rotten to the core assholes.
Numerous regular contributors to Facebook and Twitter are reporting that someone has been shot today. Social media is buzzing as sketchy details continue to pour in. It’s unclear whether there are injuries or casualties but something has definitely been shot by a handgun.
New York, NY – Presidential candidate Donald Trump has faced the embarrassing wrath of a heckler more than a few times in past months. The controversial billionaire is seeking the White House as his newest mansion and acquisition.
Bill Nye ‘The Science’ Guy recently attacked the sacred idea of creationism on a YouTube video. The Internet and news programs have lit up with those on the side of creationism and those on the side of evolution.
Cleveland – As the waters start to swirl with GOP sharks hopeful to take over Obama’s office, some alarming trends have surfaced after the first debate. Recent polls show that 43% of Americans say they will leave the country if their candidate does not prove successful in the next open election.
Russell, KS – Look into 92 year old Bob Dole’s eyes. No, really look. What do you see? Great American? Yes. Proud veteran? Absolutely. A man who lived a full and worthwhile life? Most of us may not know the true answer to that but let’s go with “OK” on that one.
Jacksonville, FL – It’s no secret the world is moving faster than ever. There is more stress and less time to sleep. For the millions who have various sleep disorders, this is a recipe for severe anxiety and depression.
San Diego, CA – Unless you live in California, you probably don’t know Braxton Spooner. Local residents view him as a bit of a celebrity. The state is a regular when it comes to severe weather and Brax (as he prefers local residents to refer to him) consistently puts them at ease with his accurate forecasts and his million dollar smile.
Boston, MA – Last week, the great city of Boston was site to the annual PETA national conference. You’d figure with so many radicals with a common purpose in one place, there would be nothing but agreement happening all over the place.
Philadelphia, PA – After being given an 18th chance at being a starting quarterback in the NFL, Tim Tebow knows that this is a critical time for him to show what he can do. Always the lightning rod, Tebow goes against most conventions people are comfortable with. He flaunts his religious beliefs and doesn’t hide the fact that he’s left-handed.
Lake Forest, IL – February blues. That’s how 14 year old Manny Worthem puts it. We found him hanging out at a local Denny’s by himself drinking soda after soda and drowning his sorrows in a massive stack of pancakes.
Wallingford, IA – While Donald Trump continues to strike a chord with potential voters with his anti-conventional political antics, he may soon have some serious competition. Deez Nuts, a candidate born in the small farming country of Iowa, is currently polling third in the state of North Carolina.
New York, NY – The Jolly Green Giant stopped by CBS This Morning today for an unannounced visit. The show was already filled up with segments about how to cook healthier pork, kids that scream in the grocery store, and a Gayle King editorial about the rising prices of handbags.
Ponte Vedra Beach, FL – PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem is well liked by players and has helped to create more and more millionaires. Finchem is looking to take the game of golf to new heights and knows there are some significant hurdles in his way.
Kalamazoo, MI – My name is Miranda and my house is right next to a Mexican restaurant called El Gato.
Dresden – Medical scientists in Germany acknowledged this week that a local woman has given birth to a 24 year old man. No one outside of Germany has actually seen the man but it is believed that he is approximately 5’9″ tall, weighing about 145 pounds.
Washington – It’s getting harder and harder to tell if GOP candidates running for president are saying things to differentiate themselves or just losing their minds. Today on NBC’s Meet The Press, Scott Walker launched an offensive lob towards Canada.