Are Man's Trousers Haunted by Evil Spirit of Sex Offender? Exorcism Performed on Possessed Pantaloons Following Paranormal Phenomena in Groin Area, Including Ectoplasm and Bizarre Bulging!
I make it a rule never to argue with drunks. Not even when I'm drunk myself. But especially not when I'm sober - alcoholic intoxication impairs the ability
Queen Accused of Breaking Wind During Two Minute Silence at Cenotaph. Royal Fart Widely Condemned as Disrespectful - Not to Mention Noxious - to Britain's War Dead and Military Veterans.
Hollywood Stars Declare War on ISIS in Retaliation for Terrorists Continued Failure to Acknowledge their Cultural Significance by Not Attacking Los Angeles. Claim latest Attacks in Paris Have Caused Extreme Trauma to their Egos.
Jihadist group ISIS have claimed responsibility for the huge turd which recently brought Brussels to a standstill. Belgian authorities declare 'Code Brown' as Jihadist 'Shit to Kill' tactics hit Metro.
English Village Gripped by Fear Every Christmas as Non-Festive Residents Brutally Murdered by Mystery Assailant! Is 'Christmastein Monster' Responsible for Yule Themed Slayings?
We're asking our readers to donate their unwanted adult DVDs and Videos to our annual appeal for needy perverts this Winterval. Please give generously and rest assured that your smut will go to a good home.
Political Storm Over Tabloid Claims About Corbyn's 'Disrespectful' Pose in Labour Nude Charity Calender. Party Denies Allegations of Leader Using Poppy to Cover Privates in November Picture.
Chancellor Plans to Boost UK Manufacturing by Forcing Poor to Literally Consume Goods. Scheme to 'Eat Deficit' by Conspicuous Consumption Condemned by Economists and Medics Alike.
Police Announce Plans for Special Squads to Snatch Cakes, Chips and chocolate from Fat Women as Top Doctor Warns of Super Sized Terror Threat Posed by Female Obesity in UK.
Is Tory Government Siphoning Off Public Funds in Guise of Spending Cuts to Build Space Station Haven? 'Blue Heaven' Project to Provide Top Tories with Luxury Refuge After Trashing UK.
Secrets of the Celebrity Sex Addiction Clinic Uncovered! Top Sex Therapist Reveals How Top Celebrity Sex Addicts Cured by Suppressing Their Orgasms!
Secret Terror Trial Reveals British Muslim Youths Radicalised by Mad Mullah's 'Radicalisation Booth'. Unsuspecting Islamic men Lured into Fiendish Device and Transformed into Crazed Jihadis!
Were Successive Nazi, Soviet and US Attempts to Create 'Dead Sexy' Soldiers Capable of Using Sexual Energies to Remotely Kill Inspired by Secret Buddhist Priesthood? Did President Kennedy Fall Prey to Russian 'Sex Assassin'?
In what has been described as one of the biggest oversights in food marketing history since horse was labeled as cheese four years ago, the major supermarkets are recalling a popular brand of peanut and butter free peanut butter from the shelves.
Tory scheme to cryogenically freeze long-term unemployed to save of benefits payments exposed! Government plans to thaw out frozen assets as required by state of economy!
New Documentary set to Expose Bizarre World of Islamic Fundamentalist Pornography. Amazing Claims of Burqa clad Nudes and Extremist Sex Comedy Films!
Businessmen – what a bunch of scumbags, eh? Yeah, that's right, I'm dissing businessmen, in fact, I'm being anti-business. Heresy, I know, in today's political climate, but the fact is that businessmen and their businesses are no good...
Are Eastern European Immigrants Vampires and Werewolves Literally Draining UK's Lifeblood? Extraordinary UKIP Claims on Eve of General Election!
Were Notorious Sex Fiends Jimmy Savile and Rolf Harris the Result of Secret British Government Experiments? Top Scientist Claims Pair's Super Powers Allowed Them to Offend on Unprecedented Scale!