Satireworld

Cowplains, IL – (satireworld.com)

A white lesbian woman who sued after she was accidentally impregnated with the sperm of an African American man will be forced to refile the lawsuit after an Illinois judge tossed out her claim against the sperm bank as a frivolous and stupid lawsuit.

Satire World Campsite….
Gather round kiddies and old Uncle Bargis is going to tell you a bed time tale about how evil Democrats have really screwed up politics in the good old USA!

How’s About Some Gun Control………….
Sure, lets enact a true “Law on Firearms and Ammunition.” This law will require anyone who owns a firearm, or who wants to own a firearm in the future, to register their intentions with our Federal authorities and apply for a simple permit and a universal Firearm ID card.

Moscow – Russian Space Agency

Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin announced on Friday that the nation plans to carve out an area of operations on the moon citing, “We saw the moon first and it belongs to us!”

Los Angeles, Calipornia – (SatireWorld.com)

Likely beneficiaries under consideration are thought to include bankrupt former porn stars and their disenfranchised crack dealer chums who lost out on hard-won ObamaScare benefits following the election of President Trump last year.

Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com)
A Muslim covert who was beaten rather severly several times for trying to impose sharia law on British websites claims to have converted numerous writers to a radical form of Islam during his time working at local pubs in the evening hours according to the Times.

Rockafeller Center, NYC – (satireworld.com)

According to MSNBC news anchor Brian Williams, his Piper Cub aircraft was fired upon during his exclusive overhead coverage of the fight between George Armstrong Custer’s 7th Calvary and Sioux Indians during the battle of the Little Bighorn in 1876.

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) Convicted dirty old man, ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner has discounted suggestions that disgraced Hollywood movie mogul Harvey Weinstein is a true sex addict and predator toward women and said it does a ‘ huge disservice’ to those who are struggling with a deviant sex problem like himself.

Durham, NC – (satireworld.com)
Morris Helms says he’s never been busier! The retired veteran, who looks a healthy 50 instead of being a few days away from turning 65, says ever since he read an ad looking for contestants in a local amateur mixed martial arts contest he’s been very busy on Saturday nights. “ Wow! It’s like taking candy from a baby!”

(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts......
Winners of the 2017 Worst New Fast Food Dishes That Were Scrapped:
#1. Papa John’s Haggis on a Flatbread Pizza.
#2. Jack In The Box Mini-Trough of Eggs, Meat and Tater Melt. #3. Krispy Kreme’s Mystery-Filled Long Johns!
#4. Captain D’s Whole Frog Chowder!

Congratulations to these companies and consolations to those still puny after the taste tests.

Philadelphia, PA – (SatireWorld.com)

An assault trial over a fight that cost a man his left eye ended in a mistrial Wednesday when his prosthetic eye popped out as he was testifying, startling jurors to the point that some had to be excused.

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com)

War on Women? Sexism? Wealth sharing? Gun control? Job equality? Liberalism? Yes, those are the talking points of today’s left, but the icons of the movement sing a different tune when it pertains to themselves and their personal attitudes. The true hypocrites in our modern culture attempt to bend traditional values and use people then discard them when their value has been diminished.

London UK:
[satireworld.com]
“Civil Rights” passed away during a National Football League (NFL) sponsored American football game staged in this city between the Baltimore Ravens and the Jacksonville Jaguars. The cause of death, according to the London Coroners Office, was a massive heart attack over lack of respect when both teams took a knee during the playing of the USA National Anthem (The Star-Spangled Banner). The players were supposedly protesting White Racism/White Privilege in the USA!

Космодром Байконур – (SatireWorld.com)

Investigators have learned that Yuri Gagarin, the Russian Cosmonaut who was the first man to go into outer space and the first man to orbit the earth, was not alone on his historic flight. In fact, in their cockpit positioning, the other person would have been ahead of Gagarin into space by about 3 centimeters.

Fresno County, CA – (satireworld.com)
A suspected burglar who became stuck in the chimney of a Central California home died of burns and smoke inhalation after the home’s elderly owner lit a fire in the fireplace, fire officials said Sunday.

Pyongyang, North Korea – (SatireWorld.com)

Kim Jong Un, current dictator of North Korea, has invited “Hanoi” Jane Fonda to visit his country. The actress, exercise video star, and political activist is most famous for her stance on the Vietnam War and her treasonous acts towards the United States Government and individual American soldiers during that conflict.

Blountstown, FL [satireworld.com]-
A leading purveyor of fake news in the 2012 and 2016 presidential election has died outside the sleepy Florida town of Blountstown at the age of 38.
Sheriff’s Office spokesman Tobias Roja said Tuesday authorities discovered Phillip Fester dead in his bed on Sept. 18.

The Peoples Republic of North Korea staged a massive armaments parade down the capitol’s main boulevard with hundreds of curiously ‘yellow’ painted ballistic missiles. Marchers carried signs denouncing the ‘running dog imperialists’ as warmongers and a threat to the peaceful citizens of ‘the best country on Earth.’

New York, NY – [satireworld.com]
Aging singer Stevie Wonder became the latest “oppressed” multi-millionaire coddled elitist to take a knee to show solidarity with Colin Kaepernick and other NFL athletes who have decided to kneel when the National Anthem is played prior to all football game activity.

El Paso, TX – (satireworld.com)
Planning on dining out tonight? You might want to pass on Chinese food at a popular El Paso eatery.
A west Texas restaurant has set the standard for disgusting dining on its latest health inspection, with a stomach-churning rating of just 19 out of a possible 100.