"They need a tie-in brand of hotdog's to go with this series."
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A man dressed as a man down the pub has won the Eurovision Song Contest for the first time in 60 years, it was revealed last night.
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"I was hoping he would flip one of the pancakes onto his back and then he could hilariously run round and round at a glacial pace chasing his own tail! Disappointed."
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Fears were growing last night that pandas, some as old as 5, were pooping too much from all the bamboo they eat, according to scientists.