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AdoboChron

Rene Astudillo
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She spoke in sexy baby-talk, which I hated before, but with the adrenaline from holding a live grenade, it was the sexiest thing I'd ever heard.
BINONDO, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - Apparently not content on its claim over the disputed territory in the South China Sea, the Chinese government today announced it was laying claim over the oldest Chinatown in the world -- in Manila! Manila's Chinatown, located in and around the Binondo district, was established in the late 1500s. It…
LOS ANGELES, California ( The Adobo Chronicles ) - Technology has definitely caught up with America's new generation of teenagers. Or is it the other way around? Today, the Field Poll released a new nationwide opinion survey involving 5,000 Americans throughout the country -- aged 13 to 19 -- asking them one open-ended question: "What do you…
HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Many will remember the 1967 James Bond film, 'You Only Live Twice,' with its theme song that says you live "one life for yourself and one for your dream.' If we were to believe what's currently trending on Facebook and Twitter, 'Golden Girl' Rue McClanahan may just have lived (and…
BARCELONA, Spain (The Adobo Chronicles) - In 2006, the International Astronomical Union (IAU) formally defined "planet," and the new definition excluded Pluto and reclassified it as a member of the new "dwarf planet" category.  It was a move that disappointed many Plutonians. Discovered in 1930, Pluto was originally considered the ninth planet from the sun. Many…
SPOKANE, Washington (The Adobo Chronicles) -The alleged white woman who has  been posing as an African American today revealed that she was also part Native American and part Hawaiian. For nearly a decade, Rachel Dolezal, who heads the NAACP chapter in Spokane, Washington, has claimed to be African American. However, her parents, who appeared on…
HOLLYWOOD, California  (The Adobo Chronicles) - Sony Pictures has just announced that Cameron Crowe has been chosen to direct a new film about the white woman who has been posing as African American.  The film is titled "Spokane," named after the city in which Rachel Dolezal headed the local NAACP chapter. Crowe, who has come under…
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - Donald Trump today officially declared that he is running for president of the United States, vowing to "make this country great again." What a great campaign motto. But there is one problem.  Trump is now being accused by former Philippines First Lady Imelda Romualdez Marcos of plagiarizing her late husband,…
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - If you're wondering why your favorite newspaper rack for The Washington Post is empty today, wonder no more. The country's leading print newspaper does not have a Wednesday edition. Yesterday, in the spirit of public service, newsroom staff of the Post participated in a taste test of the new Pizza Hut hot…
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles®) - Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry characterized the recent shooting in Charleston as an "accident" during an interview on Friday, accusing President Obama of using the massacre, which claimed nine lives, as a pretext for pushing a gun control agenda. "This is the MO of this administration anytime there is…
LOS ANGELES, California (The Adobo Chronicles ® ) - Move over Macarena. Psy, it's time to retire your horsey dance. All across America, people are doing the chicken dance: men, women, children, senior citizens, gay, straight -- in the streets of San Francisco to the dance clubs in Miami. The dance which until recently could…
ATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles®) - During an interview this week with Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush, FOX news commentator Megyn Kelly declared she was an Independent, having voted for both Democrats and Republicans. During a phone interview with Glenn Beck, CNN anchor Don Lemon admitted he was a conservative. Today, both news cable networks said…
SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles ® )  - The City and County of San Francisco is trying its best to rid itself of the reputation of being one of the places in the U.S. with the most expensive rent, what with the monthly apartment rent averaging in excess of $4,000. As more and more high-rise condominiums…
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles®) - As Barack Obama was speaking at a White House event honoring LGBT Pride Month on Wednesday, a heckler started yelling at the President. The heckler was later identified as Jennicet Gutiérrez, an undocumented transgender immigrant who was protesting deportations under the Obama administration. An immigration group claimed Gutiérrez was a founding member of Familia TQLM…
MIAMI, Florida (The Adobo Chronicles ®) - Real Estate mogul and owner of the Miss Universe Pageant Donald Trump announced last week he is running for president of the United States.  In his  kick-off speech, he said that if elected, he will build a "great wall" on the border and make Mexico pay for it because Mexico is…
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles ® ) - The mainstream media have a tendency to whitewash news events that happen in The White House. But not us.  We report the news exactly the way it happened. When Obama was heckled during an LGBT event at The White House by a transgender Latina woman who admits being…
ATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles®) - It looks like Don Lemon is not the only weird journalist in the CNN newsroom. The cable news network today aired a breaking news segment about London's Pride Parade in which a reporter claimed that she witnessed a man waving an ISIS flag. CNN, which prides itself to be the…
SILICON VALLEY, California (The Adobo Chronicles®) - From the Atlantic to the Pacific, from sea to shining sea, rainbow-colored filters are showing up on Facbook pages -- all in the name of marriage equality. Facebook profile photos are now sporting the colors of the gay flag. It all started soon after the U.S. Supreme Court issued…
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles®) - Police officers, for the most part, are rewarded or promoted for going beyond the "call of duty." But not this officer with the New York Police Department (NYPD).  He got fired. The still unnamed officer went beyond  his call of duty on Sunday by dancing with a gay man…
BATON ROUGE, Louisiana (The Adobo Chronicles®) - What if they held a beauty pageant and nobody watched it? Well, that's exactly what was going to happen to the Miss U.S.A. and Miss Universe pageants after NBC Universal and Univision both severed their relationship with pageant owner Donald Trump. The two networks fired Trump after his…