Ahmed Mohamed, the Texas youth who was suspended for bringing to class a homemade clock said to resemble a bomb, has now constructed a “fully automatic” pencil sharpener.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the results of a TNA study regarding guns being used for personal protection was released. The data concluded most Americans were not important enough to have to worry about ever using a gun for self-defense, and discovered most Americans who believed they needed a gun for self-defense had poor reasoning skills, overestimated their importance, and were suffering from narcissistic personality disorder.

Colorado Springs, CO – Colorado and Washington voted ‘yes’ to legalize the recreational use of marijuana. Other states are taking notice.

Are Man's Trousers Haunted by Evil Spirit of Sex Offender? Exorcism Performed on Possessed Pantaloons Following Paranormal Phenomena in Groin Area, Including Ectoplasm and Bizarre Bulging!

One of the leaders of the University of Missouri protest group Concerned Student 1950 says that the main source of their discontent is chronic constipation.

PHOENIX, ARIZONA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and extremely bored billionaire Donald Trump invited Black Lives Matter activists to his "Dogs & Fire Hoses Rally" in Phoenix later this week in order to open a dialogue. Trump supporters are being encouraged to bring breeds of dogs usually used by law enforcement agencies from home - if they have them - to facilitate the exchange of ideas during the rally, but Black Lives Matter activists in Phoenix have told TNA they were told to only bring themselves.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, President Obama designated the National Rifle Association (NRA) a Domestic Terrorist Organization and instructed the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) to destroy the highly organized terror network "for waging a campaign of terror on the American people." Both DHS and the FBI - who have been warning of right-wing terrorism for years - have already raided NRA Headquarters in Fairfax, Virgina, and arrested key members of the organization they hope will help lead them to NRA leader Wayne Lapierre.

GOULBURN, Australia (The Adobo Chronicles) - Many of us have heard the phrase, "It's raining cat's and dogs," and it's really more of a figure of speech.  We've also heard "It's raining men," but that's a 1980's hit song by The Weather Girls. However, in Australia, when one says, "It's raining spiders," it really IS…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, President Obama announced the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) - a massive multinational trade deal the president intends to sign - will protect the freedoms of all Americans to earn lower wages and become unemployed. President Obama explained the two innately-American liberties would be protected by the TPP, which will make it even easier for corporations to offshore American jobs to countries with lower wages.

Biloxi, MS –  It all went down at a small Piccadilly Cafeteria in Biloxi.  All the food sat in the back room freezer waiting to get the call to the microwaves and the food lines before human consumption.

Today, the same elite media who no doubt send their own kids to private schools that employ armed security, just can’t stop howling ridicule at the NRA’s idea to give every student in America those same protections.

New York – It was obvious to one man riding the number 3 train from Brooklyn to Manhattan.  He snapped a photo and could not believe his eyes.  Could that really be Jesus riding the subway in plain sight of all of the other commuters?

No longer able to collect bulk telephone metadata, the NSA said it will revert to the old method of domestic spying by placing agents in the homes of the some 123 million households in the U.S.

HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Many will remember the 1967 James Bond film, 'You Only Live Twice,' with its theme song that says you live "one life for yourself and one for your dream.' If we were to believe what's currently trending on Facebook and Twitter, 'Golden Girl' Rue McClanahan may just have lived (and…

BEJING (TheSkunk.org) — The recent hacking by China into a US government employee database has allowed Chinese officials to utilize stolen credit card information to make miscellaneous purchases of merchandise, running up a tab well into the tens of millions of dollars.

Donald Trump, professional candidate for the GOP nomination and bad wig model, says he's rich enough to be the best president. By James Israel, Humor Times.

Admits, "I'm losing muscle tone."

Bilderberg is not the only conspiracy, claims journalist. What is secret of mystery group which meets at budget hotels? Is there a 'Conspiracy of the Insignificant'?

WASHINGTON -- In what’s being called a historic oversight, the U.S. Supreme Court has admitted that while it has ruled in favor of same-sex marriage, it has forgotten to rule in favor of same-sex divorce.

SILICON VALLEY, California (The Adobo Chronicles®) - From the Atlantic to the Pacific, from sea to shining sea, rainbow-colored filters are showing up on Facbook pages -- all in the name of marriage equality. Facebook profile photos are now sporting the colors of the gay flag. It all started soon after the U.S. Supreme Court issued…