WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles®) - The fourth of July would have been a perfect day to welcome the 51st state of the United States, but it seems that may have to wait for yet another year. A U.S. territory, Puerto Rico, and a former U.S. colony, the Philippines, are the top contenders to become the latest…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Republican presidential candidate Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) announced today he wanted Jesus Christ to be the official animal of the United States instead of the bald eagle. His position quickly split the Republican Party into two camps, and the topic has already started to overshadow other issues on the campaign trail like the economy, social policy, and foreign policy.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was considering switching to the Republican Party to run for president, which she believed would greatly increase her chances of being in the general election due to the party's "facts-optional policy." Clinton blamed the need to consider becoming a Republican on her Democratic rival U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont, who had recently surged ahead of Clinton in polls of likely Democratic primary caucus-goers and voters in Iowa and New Hampshire, resp

KANSAS CITY, Missouri (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - A spokesperson for the National Council of La Raza, the biggest Latino advocacy group in the United States, says that the organization invited every current Republican and Democratic presidential candidate to their annual convention taking place in Kansas City, Mo., but only the Democrats agreed to come. That means…

Television personality Mario Lopez's recent meeting with Dick Cheney may have led authorities to him.

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Nearly a billion common houseflies buzzed the nation's capital today to protest a bill that would require flies to show two forms of photo identification when purchasing fly-swatters.  The bill, authored by Sen. Patrick Miyagi (D-HI), has passed the Senate and has been sent to President Obama. Proponents of the proposed new law argue…

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, the Fox Broadcasting Company announced a new political reality show that will force contestants to work with each other respectfully to achieve common goals. "Work Together or Die" will take place in a wing of Bellevue Hospital in New York City, and boast contestants like Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Bill O'Reilly.

Only days after we published pictures of some royal family or other joking about and playing Hitler in the back garden in 1933, evidence that supermarkets are making customers do the Hitler Salute when getting items from high shelves has been shown to this investigative newspaper for the first time.

"I realize this kind of thing has happened hundreds of times before," the Sgt. said, "but somehow I never thought that if I posted something racist it would be perceived in the only way it could possibly be perceived."

Battling cancer since he was five, Jake Doughty's illness never gave him a chance to go hunting or even fire a gun, but the 10 year-old still managed to take down a white tail buck before he died Monday.

Phoenix, AZ – “It’s the most irresponsible and heinous act that I’ve witnessed in my 20 years on the force,” explains Sergeant David Willingham.  “I’m no court judge but the owners of this car and beautiful AR-15 should be locked up with the key thrown away.  If there was intent, I can only pray that the death penalty is explored as an option for punishment.”

Standing next to a visibly upset Bill Cosby, a lawyer representing the 78-year-old actor called the editors of New York Magazine “reckless and unprofessional” for their decision to feature interviews with 35 women who allege they were assaulted by the legendary comic.

Microsoft announced the release of what could be their last Windows operating system this week and it made us cry with pride that we have been using Windows for years.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, civically-challenged Americans across the country announced they were looking forward to Planned Parenthood being defunded after highly edited and deceptive videos were released making it appear the organization was profiting from the sale of aborted fetuses. Not only has this group of conservative and anti-choice Americans ignored the fact fetal tissue is used for critical medical research to combat diseases like ALS, but it also believed a Senate vote expected as early as Monday would defund Planned Parenthood all on its own and forever.

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Fox News announced Republican presidential candidates Donald Trump and Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie will stand next to each other during Thursday's debate hosted by the network. The announcement met with condemnation from the eight other participating Republican candidates, as it broke the debate rule stating candidates would be positioned based on their national poll numbers.

NEW YORK CITY (The Barbed Wire) - Controversy has erupted in male circles coast to coast after Fox News Channel's Megyn Kelly threw a "war on women" statement and question at Republican front-runner Donald Trump early in Thursday night's debate. Was Trump immature in his response? Sure he was.

CHICAGO — Chicago Bears head coach John Fox wept himself to sleep last night while browsing through Facebook and Instagr…

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  From Safeway to Whole Foods to Trader Joe's, avocados have disappeared from grocery shelves, and the situation has created a severe shortage of guacamole  in California. Taquerias have been serving salsa with their corn chips, minus the guacamole. The Chipotle restaurant chain has set a limit of one…

NEW YORK — The New York Knicks know who they want to lead their team next and it’s Cleveland Cavaliers head coach LeBron…

NEW YORK CITY--Sean Hannity, host of the Fox News program Hannity, shocked his legions of fans today when he revealed that he has been diagnosed with an extremely rare and chronic form of stupidity.  Hannity said the stupidity was at such an advanced stage when it was discovered that there is very little that can…