WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, President Obama announced the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) - a massive multinational trade deal the president intends to sign - will protect the freedom of all Americans to not afford life-saving medicines. Instead, TPP will allow pharmaceutical companies to make more blood money by allowing them to keep longer patents on their drugs, and almost indefinitely prevent critical, far more affordable generic drugs from entering the American market.

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA  (The Adobo Chronicles) - It's payback time for Donald Trump! When the 2015 Miss Universe Beauty Pageant unfolds at the Planet Hollywood resort in Las Vegas on December 20, there will be fewer contestants and none of the traditional top contenders and title holders. It is the biggest boycott of the pageant,…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, American defense contractors predicted hundreds of thousands of American ground troops will win the imminent, expanded war against the Islamic State (ISIS) in Syria, Iraq, and probably elsewhere. The arms producers expected to make an acceptable profit before, during, and after the war, and defined "win" as the United States and its allies leaving a power vacuum in the region to guarantee future armed conflicts and demand for weapons.

The sexy rumor this week is that lovers Kim Kardashian and Kanye West welcomed a brand new baby boy into the world.

Researchers at the University of Southern Ohio have completed a survey of the world’s kinkiest professions. Many of the sciences ranked highly, but none quite as high as mechanical engineering

Rick Santorum has launched a presidential exploratory committee that will attempt to discover a way to travel back in time to the year 1947.

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - It was supposed to happen at 4 p.m. Pacific time on Thursday, May 28: an 8.8 magnitude earthquake in California, brought about by the alignment of the planets. The prediction came from Dutch Frank Hoogerbeets, the same man who predicted the recent devastating quake in Nepal. By 3:59 p.m,…

Spoof horoscopes - June 2015

A SELECTION OF OUR MOST PRESTIGIOUS AWARDS

Hog Huggers Horoscope Of The Millennium So Far
Marsupials Daily, Most Accurate Horoscope, March 2013
Anti Swearing League Horoscope Of The Year Special Mention For Not Cursing, July 2014
Water Slider Horoscope Of The Year 2014
'Funny Horoscope Best Read With Raspberry Jelly-Jam At Breakfast Award' From 'The Toast For Breakfast Jelly-Jam Association' 2013 (also runner up in the 'Blackcurrant Jelly-Jam' category and highly commended in both the Strawberry Jelly-Jam and Marmalade sections)

We have been availab

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles ) - It is common knowledge that the former Bruce Jenner was a Republican.  It is therefore not a surprise that among the first to welcome Caitlyn into their fold was the Log Cabin Republicans. Log Cabin Republicans is the nation’s original and largest organization representing gay conservatives and allies who support…

Jenner Wants to be a woman: I want to be an African lion...WorldsWisestOwl.com

Jerry Springer has been announced to be the new chairman of the Republican National Committee.

One Suit, Two Suit, Red Suit, Blue Suit By Dr. Zeus One pantsuit Two pantsuit Red pantsuit Blue pantsuit Black pantsuit Blue pantsuit Old pantsuit New pantsuit This one has a little stain This one will repel the rain Say! What a lot of Pantsuits there are. Yes, some are red and some are blue…

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - If you're wondering why your favorite newspaper rack for The Washington Post is empty today, wonder no more. The country's leading print newspaper does not have a Wednesday edition. Yesterday, in the spirit of public service, newsroom staff of the Post participated in a taste test of the new Pizza Hut hot…

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) - A coalition of protesters briefly took over the Trump Towers in Las Vegas on Christmas eve, unfurling a huge banner from the building's penthouse that had a 'thumbs down' sign to indicate disapproval of all that the Republican presidential candidate stands for. The protesters included Muslims, Mexican Immigrants, women…

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari): A national survey's findings on the sexual proclivities of America's anti-gay Christian leaders was released Sunday morning in time for many morning masses. The Boston University (BU) survey titled "Quantifying Anti-Gay Christian Leadership Duplicity" showed 7 out of every 10 respondents anonymously declared they were hiding at least one gay lover from virtually everyone else in their life.

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the struggling Republican presidential campaign of neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson announced the candidate would not be available to the press for the entire day. The press was waiting for planned remarks from Dr. Carson when reporters were told he had lost his pants while hunting a unicorn in his kitchen.

Dan Boyer of Tempe, Arizona took his 40,000th crap this week.

WASHINGTON, D.C.--As more Americans discover the extent of their long-repressed offendedness by anything associated with the Confederate flag, the Obama administration today announced that the current U.S. flag would undergo a makeover to remove any symbols that might lead Americans to associate it with the Stars and Bars. "The most obvious aspects we will have…

White people around the globe can celebrate today after once again being named the top race in the world by the International Racist Institute of Greenville, South Carolina.

Aries: The moon is set to eclipse Pluto this month but you won't notice this because Pluto is not visible in the sky even if you squint. Even so, this will play havoc on any of your transport plans and indicates considerable difficulty driving, flying and walking. Take extra precautions when walking around corners on the 6th.