Early into the first debate ahead of the 2024 presidential election, eight Republican candidates were asked whether they thought anything was wrong with Britney Spears. None did.

As the heat dome sitting over the American Southwest continues to broil the region, rising humidity levels throughout Texas has introduced another issue for its suffering residents: the Lone Star State smells like balls.

What is the truth behind Tory MP's desperate late night call to local party treasurer pleading for money? Was he being held against his will in a sex dungeon over an unpaid bill for whippings? Or was he held for ransom by irate rent-boys furious at his encroachment onto their territory? Or was it all an elaborate scheme to embezzle party funds?

Colin Kuchar, who replaced Jim Trusty as lead attorney on the former president's classified documents case after Trusty leapt to his death from a parking structure Thursday evening, hung himself this morning. Meanwhile, Cameron DeChambeau, who stepped in for John Rowley after Rowley jumped off the George Washington Bridge Friday afternoon, threw himself from his apartment's 42nd floor balcony last night.

Are the world's cities under attack from titanic human trumps? Top scientists claim recent series of city levelling natural disasters actually caused by huge vegan farts. Are a group of vegan extremists holding world to ransom, threatening to global destruction unless whole globe gives up animal products?

ALVIN, TX - A gunman opened fire on an outlet mall in a Houston-area outlet mall this morning, killing nine people and wounding ten more before being shot dead by another mass shooter firing on the same mall, authorities said.

For centuries, but even more so over the past few years as governments have finally started to acknowledge encounters with extraterrestrial spacecraft, humans have been wondering over the intentions of our alien visitors...