Phoenix, AZ – “It’s the most irresponsible and heinous act that I’ve witnessed in my 20 years on the force,” explains Sergeant David Willingham.  “I’m no court judge but the owners of this car and beautiful AR-15 should be locked up with the key thrown away.  If there was intent, I can only pray that the death penalty is explored as an option for punishment.”

Standing next to a visibly upset Bill Cosby, a lawyer representing the 78-year-old actor called the editors of New York Magazine “reckless and unprofessional” for their decision to feature interviews with 35 women who allege they were assaulted by the legendary comic.

Microsoft announced the release of what could be their last Windows operating system this week and it made us cry with pride that we have been using Windows for years.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, civically-challenged Americans across the country announced they were looking forward to Planned Parenthood being defunded after highly edited and deceptive videos were released making it appear the organization was profiting from the sale of aborted fetuses. Not only has this group of conservative and anti-choice Americans ignored the fact fetal tissue is used for critical medical research to combat diseases like ALS, but it also believed a Senate vote expected as early as Monday would defund Planned Parenthood all on its own and forever.

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Fox News announced Republican presidential candidates Donald Trump and Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie will stand next to each other during Thursday's debate hosted by the network. The announcement met with condemnation from the eight other participating Republican candidates, as it broke the debate rule stating candidates would be positioned based on their national poll numbers.

NEW YORK CITY (The Barbed Wire) - Controversy has erupted in male circles coast to coast after Fox News Channel's Megyn Kelly threw a "war on women" statement and question at Republican front-runner Donald Trump early in Thursday night's debate. Was Trump immature in his response? Sure he was.

CHICAGO — Chicago Bears head coach John Fox wept himself to sleep last night while browsing through Facebook and Instagr…

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  From Safeway to Whole Foods to Trader Joe's, avocados have disappeared from grocery shelves, and the situation has created a severe shortage of guacamole  in California. Taquerias have been serving salsa with their corn chips, minus the guacamole. The Chipotle restaurant chain has set a limit of one…

NEW YORK — The New York Knicks know who they want to lead their team next and it’s Cleveland Cavaliers head coach LeBron…

NEW YORK CITY--Sean Hannity, host of the Fox News program Hannity, shocked his legions of fans today when he revealed that he has been diagnosed with an extremely rare and chronic form of stupidity.  Hannity said the stupidity was at such an advanced stage when it was discovered that there is very little that can…

HOUSTON —Rockets big man Dwight Howard is on the market and Houston general manager Daryl Morey says he has already rece…

ARTISANAL PRESS — If you’re in the doghouse this Valentine’s Day, then don’t feel too badly. This year, as it turns out, you’ll have some bluechip companionship with you. That’s because of social media fall-out over Google’s decidedly insensitive “Go Ogle” Valentine’s Day greeting, which is one of several randomly-served logos appearing on the search giant’s homepage today.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  Yesterday, we reported that the National Zoo's female giant panda, Mei Xiang, gave birth to a cub, which Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump called an "anchor baby." It turns out that Mei Xiang gave birth to twin cubs a few hours apart, so now Trump has two panda  cubs…

Inspired by Calais refugees, thrill seeking British tourists walking through Channel Tunnel for holidays in France! New craze sees jaded UK tourists sailing to Greek resorts on refugee rafts!

LAS VEGAS — Undefeated and five-division world champion Floyd Mayweather, Jr. responded to Manny Pacquiao’s comments com…

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Two of the national minority joirnalism organizations have issued advisories urging the media to refrain from using the term, 'anchor baby,' which commonly refers to a child born in the U.S. to non-citizen parents. The Asian American Journalists Association  (AAJA) and the National Association of Hispanic Journalists (NAHJ)…

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Earlier this week, the Rev. Al Sharpton declared that “people that were from Puerto Rico all would have to go back if their parents were undocumented.” In other words, Sharpton believes that Puerto Ricans are not  U.S. citizens. Soon enough, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, while speaking to a…

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump today accused Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of being a 'copycat.' Israel has begun building a fence along part of the country’s eastern border with Jordan as Syrian civil war refugees and other migrants flee their countries. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Sunday:…

Los Angeles, CA – Looking as fit and confident as ever, Hillary Clinton stood before a small group of admirers as she was sworn in as an honorary member of The Charlie’s Angels Society of Greater Los Angeles.  

8 year-old Ava Hunt is no longer a student at Loveland Elementary School in California. After 9 tardies, the school principal informed the parents that they cannot allow their daughter to attend the school when she is consistently late. The reason for her tardiness? Her parents, Aaron and Jackie Hunt, spending countless hours making the perfect "first day" sign to post on social media.