When she first came around, I was vaguely attracted to her, I don’t know why. Actually, I do know why: she had long red hair, and I’m a sucker for that stuff. Other than that, not really my type. Too thin. She was also a bit nutty, but that never stopped me before.Anyway, a friend…

The ever-vilified Affordable Care Act has survived, an ordeal and disgrace for the Republican Party. It has been assailed as the end of democracy. Vilified as a form of slavery. Denigrated, denounced and disparaged. But like a blind, three-legged dog named “Lucky,” against all odds, the Affordable Care Act has survived and remains the law.

Law enforcement officials say it is way too early to eliminate a badass shark attack as the cause for an abandoned boat spookily floating in the harbor of Martha’s Vineyard. In view of locals and countless, impressionable tourists, a fishing spooner was discovered deserted in Harbor View Monday morning...

If only republicans could harness Rubio’s palpableness, or, in this case, his Palaptineness. I like to start off by not making sense, but let me explain how our democracy works today. Sorry that I used the words democracy and works and today in the same sentence. Boy, I’m off to a worse start than the Mets.…

Conservatives are quick to quote the Constitution and complain how the left is always out to destroy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness …well, at least liberals can multitask. Kidding! Republicans have shown an aptitude for starting and losing multiple conflicts simultaneously. Does anyone else find it odd how conservative-types only seem content when they’re gutting our liberties in the name of freedom? Or,…

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

In his book, “The Origin of Consciousness”, the late author Julian Jaynes detailed a compelling case for how and why leadership became the driving force in the development of civilization. Our governments, institutions, clergy, and corporations demonstrate and depend on Jaynes’ basic premise that, in essence, “top-down organizational charts” direct the masses toward behaviors and thinking…

Flagstaff, AZ—The Daily Discord, a site not known for its philanthropic prowess, has set up a fund to help Richard Branson recover from the category five hurricane that ravaged his private island this week. Head Comedy writer Mick Zano explains, “Please donate generously to the account we’ve set up and don’t forget about the special charity…

by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with ... Read moreRipping the Headlines Today, 7/23/18Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.

Lion killing dentist Walter Palmer has more skeletons – literally – in his closet. Walter Palmer, the American Rambo impersonator, who shot, killed and then took a selfie with famed Zimbabwean Cecil “the Friendly Lion,” is now one of the most hated men in the world, and the latest breaking story involving the douchebag dentist...

“This might really bring the show Jackass up a notch next season.”   —Jeremy Clarkson

Tweet Tower—In a chain of events that many are calling suspicious, Trump’s Helsinki interpreter, Marina Gross, ‘fell’ from an eight story building earlier today and landed on porn star Stormy Daniels. The two women suffered only minor injuries as both of Stormy’s breasts were deployed at the time of impact. The interpreter is now conscious and recovering at Stormybroke…

by Roz Warren.Perv who likes his sexual partners smooth – and shiny, hard and cold – is on a slippery slope. A man who is sexually attracted to playground equipment was recently banned from “any location with a slide” after being caught having sex with one. Christopher Johnson, 46, was described by the newspaper who reported this [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

First thing off when I wake up is to check the morning-wood situation. Tremendous — I can assure you. Never fails. Ivanka had a nickname for it ...

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

There’s still no shortage of election blame, not to mention tons of players, factors and conspiracy theories abound. Who’s fault is it? We have fake news, real news, voter turnout, voter suppression, Comey, Putin, Bernie, Weiner, and even Weiner’s weiner played its part. The perfect reality show. In the end, what matters is this: a…

For the first time in the history of Disney Productions, the company is developing a new animated feature using familiar Disney characters for political satire.

Then we realized SPAM was all we were really getting…

“I am responsible for every sound bite Trump has given.” – Sarah Palin “We’re gonna knock your socks off, America!” said Sarah Palin, as she signed napkins for customers at the Lock ‘N Load Dinner in Wasilla, Alaska. “Are you nervous about how the press will respond to your endorsing Trump?” asked this reporter.

Fellow Discord contributor Pokey McDooris had some thoughtful comments after my last feature—blatantly wrong, but thoughtful. At one point he implied how either a Trump or a Sanders vote signified a vote against the establishment. Whereas that is certainly true on some level, it’s like confusing apples to orangutans. Those two politicians represent either end of the political and evolutional spectrum. It’s like comparing the…