Hipsters in a Haunted House features a trio of London hipsters who have ventured from the safety of gentrified Spitalfields for deepest, darkest ‘Mummerset’ en route to the Newton Abbot Beard Championships. Seeking shelter from a storm as they drive to the contest, they find themselves in a supposedly haunted house.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - While Philippine President Rodrigo Roa Duterte may have drawn some parallel between himself and Adolf Hitler, Senator Leila De Lima, former Justice Secretary under the Aquino administration, has likened herself to Harry Potter, that fictional darling of awizard created by author J.K. Rowling. The lady senator made…

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Amplifying the discord surrounding critical race theory - the doctrine that holds that America's legal framework is biased against black people and other minorities - an alternate theory arguing that it's actually the other way around has started to be pushed by white people who don't want to hear about it.
































































 

Surrounded by the intense noises of her family and pets, local mom credits noise-cancelling headphones with saving her life.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - President Barack Obama is not giving up America's little brown that easily, despite pronouncements in China by President Rodrigo Roa Duterte that he wants to "separate" from the United States. In an effort to maintain the colonial and friendly relations between the two countries, Obama has invited Duterte…

'Trends come and go and they have to be discarded somewhere. It started with the odd beanie hat floating in the water but then we had reports of fixie bikes being dredged out of the depths.'

As the dust settles in the aftermath of former Raiders Head Coach Jon Gruden's forced resignation in a landslide of racist, anti-gay and misogynistic emails, the NFL has vowed that it will continue to humiliate the subjects of those emails by releasing their contents to the public.
































































 
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Following outrage over the coffee giant’s decision to supplant its annual Christmas-themed snowflake paper cups with diabolical red ones, Starbucks has admitted to advancing a Satanic plot.

Authorities have released the name of a fugitive responsible for a 7-state crime spree this morning, and it's your daughter.

There I was on the subway, minding my own business, when this skinny young thing who had been staring at me tapped my shoulder and said, “Excuse me, but I must confess that I cannot ignore your mass.”

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Saudi Arabia threatened to break up with the United States if Congress continued to ask questions about the Saudi role in the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks. Saudi Arabia claimed the United States was obsessed by the subject, and their relationship was being strained by its lack of trust in the kingdom.

Edging out ice fishing juggernauts Norway and Canada, which took home silver and bronze, the Estonians victory was secured when Urmas Kaljend hooked a 50-pound pike in the fourth drill.
































































 
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles)  - Former presidential candidate Michele Bachmann  has proposed a ban on the sale in the U.S. of the Menorah, a candelabrum used in Jewish worship, especially during the observance of Hanukkah. She made the proposal as she called for an intensified effort to convert Jews to Christianity. In the radio program, "Washington Watch,"…

A $100 permit and microchip implant a must for iguana identification?  Too many iguanas?  Watch out.  Iguanas growing to be 6 feet long?  May live 20 years?  Terrorist iguanas?

A mass shooting that began outside a music festival in Dallas combined with another mass shooting at a nearby graduation party last night, resulting in a 'super-mass shooting' that left at least 200 people dead, authorities report.
































































 
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Did Mexico fake recent earthquake in order to defraud US and other donors of relief funds? US 'Shock Jock' controversially claims natural disasters are 'racket' on part of poorer countries to siphon billions of dollars from wealthy states.

AUSTIN – Pollsters at the University of Texas say that a compilation of polls from across the country show Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump locked in a satirical tie for the presidency. Results showed Clinton with a 45% – 43% lead....

The couple who was shocked to be getting married alongside Ben Aflleck and JLo in Vegas last week were just as astounded to find themselves sharing a divorce attorney's lobby with the same celebrity pair today.
































































 
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The decision will allow the nation’s biggest set of morons to re-evaluate the vote made by another set of morons to ‘Brexit’.