Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.

DES MOINES, Iowa (The Adobo Chronicles ) - A new Gallup poll conducted minutes after Donald Trump confirmed he would not be participating in the GOP presidential debate in Iowa already shows a winner : FOX News. Trump's refusal to join his Republican colleagues Thursday night was prompted by accusations that FOX News was biased against…

Beijing, China-(SatireWorld.com)

It’s a well known state secret that by the year 2020 an epidemic of male homosexuality will sweep a nation of a billion plus people making China the largest nation of single gay men on the planet.
Imagine 124 million Chinese men of marrying age who can’t find a woman to wed in China by 2020. Well, it’s a reality since Chinese long-term efforts to abort female fetuses is a major contributing factor.

DES MOINES, Iowa (The Adobo Chronicles) - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has confirmed that he will not be participating in Thursday's FOX News GOP Debate in Iowa. Trump's campaign said that the billionaire real estate mogul is skipping the debate because of an ongoing rift with FOX News, particularly Megyn Kelly with whom he has…

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the Secret Service agents protecting Republican presidential candidate and xenophobic billionaire Donald Trump declared they deeply regretted their past career mistakes and choices of work enemies. The agents were confident both their professional lapses and having co-workers with axes to grind likely resulted in their protective detail assignment.

Museum officials in Rome are delighted following a successful effort to spare the visiting Iranian president from the embarrassment and potential injury of seeing representations of naked bodies.

Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com)
Beverly and Gladys Morris are living the high life after finding several large gold nuggets in their collard greens. Better known to locals as the ‘fat girls,’ 380lb Gladys, and her sister 420lb Beverly proudly showed the half-dozen gold nuggets which weighed a startling 17.5 ounces. Sisters Harriet and Bernice drove down from Memphis to help search for more in the family’s 5 acre cow pasture.

Expanding upon his recent observation that “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters,” likely GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump added today that if the people he shot were Muslims and Mexicans, he would probably even gain voters.

Google is launching a new online accountancy service, Google Diddle, just in time for the tax return deadline of 31 January.

Police are to begin a controversial tupperware amnesty due to tupperware users never f*cking getting them back.

Numerous Fox News Channel viewers are readying their most vicious comments about former President Jimmy Carter to post online immediately after his eventual death.

Peru—Many in the country of Peru are furious with the construction of a Del Taco in the Middle of what many believe is an important Mayan archeological site. The CEO of Del Taco, Paul Murphy, was quick to respond, “Look, the Mayans already ruined the place, right? The operative words here are ‘ruins’ and ‘abandoned’, so placement…

Blountstown, Florida

Residents of the normally quiet town of Blountstown were stunned Saturday when geologists from Florida State University confirmed that the newly discovered gold deposit on Miller’s farm might exceed that found on another parcel of land last September.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton claimed a video of her blaming homeowners for the 2008 economic crash was "100% false." Clinton blamed agents of rival U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont for creating the video of her blaming Americans for accepting subprime mortgages from predatory banks that told them they could afford to finance homes.

Orlando, FL – (satireworld.com)
Getting even with Obama-bots can be fun! Making them furious is even more fun!
We’ve all seen them. They’re the remaining survivors from the 2009 Cash-For-Clunkers Program that was credited with removing over a million cars with Obama bumper stickers off the road.

Condor, CA – (satireworld.com)
The buying rush had officially began in parts of the US as hundreds of thousands of former Obama supporters rush out to buy new shelter for themselves and their families before the impending November elections which are looking dim for Democrats.

Political Storm Over Tabloid Claims About Corbyn's 'Disrespectful' Pose in Labour Nude Charity Calender. Party Denies Allegations of Leader Using Poppy to Cover Privates in November Picture.

When it’s really her little blonde friend they should be worried about.

HOLLYWOOD (The Barbed Wire) - All the controversy surrounding the lack of diversity in the Oscar acting nominations for the second year in a row has caused voters in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to make a couple of last minute changes. Rachel Dolezal has been added to the Best Actress category nominations for her portrayal of a black woman working for the NAACP.

An organizer of this year’s Oscar ceremony says they will invite as many black people as possible to avoid the night looking like a Kenny Chesney concert.