New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com)

Former President Bill Clinton was forced to finally acknowledge what has long been suspected; Chelsea is NOT his daughter with long suffering wife Hillary!

Washington, DC – (satitreworld.com)

After the initial three allegations were revealed over a few weeks, a startling number of allegations against Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh were revealed just today. Those allegations include:

"Americans are going to have the most amazing, tippy-top healthcare ever; believe me. That's why Funeral Savings Accounts are non-negotiable and must be a part of the final law. A lot of people are going to need them," Trump explained exclusively to employees of Fox News and Breitbart.

New York, NY – (satireworld.com)
One of the premier traits of a entrepreneur is the ability to spot trends while they are undiscovered and then be able to move fast in order to capture the market lead and reap the financial windfall. Without saying, the past success of presidential candidate Donald J.Trump has been his unique ability to see trends and take advantage of ways to maximize profits.

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com)

Actress Alyssa Milano, who has not been really relevant since starring in Charmed and Who’s the Boss, tried to reinvent her fifteen minutes of fame last week by appearing nearly topless at the Brett Kavanaugh Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings. Milano, who stated that she was there to support the female accuser (who was also seeking her fifteen minutes of fame) later admitted to just wanting to be back in the spotlight again.

The heavily marked-down eternal soul of President Donald Trump’s press secretary is available for purchase at a secondhand store in a Washington, D.C., suburb.

Former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke said Donald Trump and his presidential campaign have spurred him to spread the message that white people can be absolutely detestable.

Fionna, NY – (satireworld.com)

Former high school band member and tuba player Rosie O’Donnell admitted in casual conversation to others that she had a “sexual encounter” with her musical instrument while they were watching the 1999 teen comedy move “American Pie.” In the movie, character Michelle says that “this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.”

The box-set will consist of TWENTY-SEVEN CDs, DVDs and Blu-Rays – all focusing on a marathon David Gilmour-led session. The entire band, as well as studio technicians, were tripping balls on acid and ended up producing a SEVEN hour jam that has been entitled ‘The Eternal Engagement’.

PORTLAND, OR — A year after tumultuous protests ripped through the United States over an epidemic of lethal police brutality, the left is now championing a bill to protect the names of officers who use lethal force from being reported in the media for as long as 90 days.

In an effort to revamp and revive his party’s failed effort to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act, Republican Speaker of the House Paul Ryan has introduced a revised version of his proposed American Health Care Act that would eliminate coverage for anyone who frequents Taco Bell.

St.Petersburg, FL – (satireworld.com)
Retired folks over at the Sunset Acres Mobile Home Park have had it!
First, it was the BlackLivesMatter marches in a predominately white retiree neighborhood by Alzheimer patients from a nearby nursing home who were given a donut and a phony 100 dollar bill by George Seros operatives to…’stir things up abit’.
Today was the last straw for many of the fairly religious and conservative residents after discovering a wall mural near the 117th street news stand of Hillary Clinton wearing, well, not much!

As local man Gerry Gurstaed nears retirement age, he is looking forward to watching the company he worked so hard for enjoy spending all the money it made off him over many years.

Benyon, who stands to inherit £110 million from his family’s estate, decided that something must be done about the rising use of food banks in the country. He decided to chip in by hand-baking dozens of loaves of bread every day, but not before he’d added wealthy seed to the dough.

Former A-list Hollywood star Val Kilmer is thinking about joining the recent trend of washed-up and lesser-known celebrities gaining attention for claiming the Earth is not round.

Jacksonville, FL – (satireworld.com)

Different genders using or misusing public restrooms, has been a topic of frequent discussion on social media. Many approve. Many not so much.
However, on Sunday a female Panthers fan gave the bathroom debate a visual no one will soon forget.

Incredible claims that attacker who used car as weapon actually militant motorist dedicated to taking back the streets for drivers. TV producers deny anti road safety agenda of motoring shows inspire automotive terrorism.

Washington DC- (satireworld.com)

Former Vice President Al Gore (supposed inventor of the Internet), noted predictor of dire, non-occurring, environmental calamities since 2000 spoke before the International Brassiere Manufacturers Association (IBMA) convention. He cautioned that the effect of plastics and oil based synthetic fibers used in Bra manufacturing are affecting the oceans of the world.

After extensive online research conducted by this news site and all its related partners and entities, we have officially concluded that there is no connection between the release of Apple’s iPhone 8 and the upcoming film, Star Wars 8, other than the number 8.

Daniel Omandi, 27, is now the proud owner of an Art masters degree, a degree which will all-but-guarantee him a job at the local McDonalds. The low wage, combined with the crippling educational debt Daniel accrued, means that he won’t be able to retire until midway through his centennial years.