Chicago, Il—Jerry Springer’s publicist, Linda Shafran, is refuting a recent Daily Discord feature. She claims her client was on business in California on March 11th and not, as The Discord feature suggests, in attendance at the infamous Chicago Trump rally. She also added the person in the above image “only looks a tiny bit like Jerry.” The Discord staff…

Republicans in the debate presented just rancor and hate. No policy goals to take to the polls, it’s left just a menacing slate. Trump’s narcissism is no surprise, but that’s where the true danger lies. He has the belief as Comander-in-chief the law to him never applies.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Outgoing U.S. president Barack Obama will attempt to bring the nation together with a unifying messag…

MANHATTAN (The Barbed Wire) - No one really knows why North Korea's Kim Jong-un does the things he does, but the latest bluster coming from the dictator, and international spokesman for Supercuts, has security experts scratching their heads. For some reason, North Korea has it in for Manhattan, Kansas.

Cancer
Still no word back from Yo Sushi about your idea to have the customers revolve on a conveyor belt while lifting food off the stationary plates. You begin to wonder if they really want to stand out in the crowded raw fish marketplace.

Trump Tower—The Donald told reporters today the events at last night’s Trump rally in Chicago were planned and coordinated attacks. He believes they were not, as Hillary Clinton maintains, a spontaneous demonstration carried out by random progressive protestors. Trump believes this attack was anything but random. Trump told reporters, “Chicago has become a vacuum of power under the Obama…

Did you know William Faulkner wrote a novel based on Donald Trump? Well, our intrepid writer dug it up, and here’s an exclusive excerpt, just for Humor Times readers! By Richard Klin I smell hit I smell hit right away. The cheap cologne and you could smell hit all the way from Memphis and it...

The world was thrown into chaos on Monday as the biggest autocorect providers were shut down in an aparent attack by hackers.

"Now let's get back to how all of your problems are the fault of the poor and brown people, and not super-rich predators like me robbing you blind every single day of your miserable hate-driven lives," explained Trump to a cheering crowd.

"We were just trying to set a new world record for most digits calculated. We had no idea it would run out. Honestly!"

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Luxembourg may be the only country in the world where the prime minister and vice prime minister are both gay men, but that record could soon be eclipsed by the Philippines where two women may be elected president and vice president in the coming May 9 elections. Luxembourg's…

Queen Elizabeth, was well as other key members of the royal family, have often been referred to as ‘apolitical’ – at least publicly. Yet this is the biggest indicator yet that the Queen favours the right-wing of the political animal, as it were.

Growing turmoil within the GOP is fueling a split between crackpots within the party and its more traditional dumbass base, experts say.

The White House is set to be redeveloped into a multistory leisure/business complex if property developer Donald Trump becomes president, secret documents seen by this newspaper say.

McDonalds has announced the closure of all 46 million of its food-serving 'storefronts' to focus on offering 'degrading bathroom experience's instead. While the sales of ankle-burgers and Chicken-McWaste nuggets have seen a steady decline for the past 19 years, use of McDonald's toilets has been growing rapidly.

Chicago, Il—Last night republican presidential candidate Donald Trump canceled his Chicago rally due to safety concerns. Trump was not happy with the number of protestors in the audience. The Chicago Police Department insisted they had a sufficient ratio of batons to black skulls and encouraged Trump to proceed with the event and antagonize minorities as he saw…

OK, people, we need to discuss billboards. Yes, we really must. Billboards must be living creatures, for they appear to propagate, spreading everywhere, growing to enormous size, shouting corporate messages at us — and even watching and tracking us with their digital eyes. Now, though, rather than billboards becoming human, we humans are becoming billboards.

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – (SatireWorld.com)

In a startling reversal of government policy the King of Saudi Arabia and the Kingdom’s Council of Ministers has legalized the driving of automobiles by women. Burkas are still required while driving. (Saudi Arabia was the only country in the world to still prohibit women divers.)

The Queen who, according to The Sun, backs the UK leaving the EU perhaps pushed her luck too far when arguing against the surprisingly pro-EU Jeremy Clarkson.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Starting at 2 o'clock a.m. Sunday (Monday, Philippine time), Americans, except those in Arizona and Hawaii,  will set their clocks forward by one hour as part of Daylight Saving Time (DST).  In the Philippines, Filipinos will advance their clocks by two hours. For the first time in the history…