Brewing in a toilet tank near you.  

WASHINGTON — Today, Democratic presidential front-runner and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton promised her rival U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont he could have all of his progressive political positions back after she...

CLEVELAND — The Cleveland Browns are reportedly seriously considering signing former Washington quarterback Robert Griff…

CHATTANOOGA, TENNESSEE (The Nil Admirari) - A group of conservative Christian leaders announced the founding of a group called the Totally-Not-Gay Christian Leaders of America (TNGCLA) today. The nonprofit organization's primary mission will be to fight the gay civil rights movement while making it clear to everyone none of its upstanding members are gay.

ST. PETER, Minnesota (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - State health officials today confirmed earlier reports that former Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann has escaped from the maximum security mental hospital in St. Peter. The former Republican  presidential candidate and founder of the House Tea Party Caucus voluntarily checked in at the facility immediately after her…

‘Look’ George Osborne told journalists today, ‘I really couldn't care less about the disabled, your stinky old granny, the losers who don't vote Tory or anyone who isn't me, so why apologise?’

Bend, OR—A man attempting to hoax some hikers in the Pacific Northwest was attacked and devoured by an angry sasquatch earlier today. One witness claims, “It was the most horrifyingly hysterical thing I’ve ever seen. You shit your pants, then you giggle, then you shit your pants some more, and then you giggle again. It was total side-sharting…

Reading magazines this week, I learned that: Half of American adults eat lunch alone. (New York Times Magazine, 2/28/16) There are currently no openly atheist members of Congress. (New York Magazine, 2/22/16) Babies in the workplace don’t significantly reduce productivity and can actually boost overall employee morale. (New York Times Magazine, 1/17/16)

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Critics have condemned U.S. President Barack Obama for dancing the tango during a state dinner held in his honor while visiting Argentina, saying it was very insensitive of him and Michelle to do it in the wake of the terrorist attacks in Brussels, Belgium. "How can the leader of…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the U.S. Department of State reported a 300,000% surge in new passport applications. The State Department attributed the surge to the increasingly likely presidential matchup between former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and current xenophobic billionaire Donald Trump.

TAMPA — New York Yankees slugger has announced his plans to retire from baseball at the conclusion of the 2017 season wh…

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com)

First, you could rent a house. Renting cars and moving vans were followed by renting to own furniture, electronics, or appliances. The next evolutionary steps were rent to own tires and rent to own home computers. The latest innovation in this fast growing industry are rent-to-own breast implants!

SEATTLE, Washington (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - Coffee giant Starbucks today announced an unprecedented move to help feed America's hungry population. The Seattle-based company is parterning with the Food Donation Connection and Feeding America in a program known as FoodShare that will allow the company to donate all of its leftover brewed coffee to food…

Where is Jesus? With the Messiah Sixteen Years Overdue for Second Coming, We're Offering Five Pounds to the Reader Who Spots Him. Remember, You Must be Carrying a Bible and Say 'You Are Jesus Christ and I Claim my Five Pounds' When you See Him to be Eligible for the Prize.

The Islamic State terror group, also known as ISIS, has taken credit for unleashing Donald Trump on the world as possibly the next president of the United States.

David Cameron will make the case to Parliament for launching a bombing campaign on the Tory Party in an effort to end its Civil War and bring peace to the party.

Flagstaff, AZ—The above image caused me some Facebook controversy. Not because The Discord already endorsed Hillary, which would make sense, but because I was seen fraternizing in Flagstaff with a flaming fanatical. Oh, the horror! Sorry if amidst the waning days of our democracy I want to hear a presidential candidate speak. I would love…

The GOP’s Dump Trump movement is a sight to behold The “Dump Trump” movement began as a gentle trickle within the Republican party. Now the number of GOP groups intent on preventing...

Secret Service agents were surprised on Tuesday to find former Cuban president Fidel Castro hiding in a suitcase belonging to first lady Michelle Obama, who was due to leave Cuba with her husband after a three-day visit to the island nation.

HAVANA — With US-Cuban relations moving forward for the first time in decades, the Cuban people are hopeful that reopeni…