Canton, OH – These days Mitt Romney is more interested in charity boxing matches for mysterious charities than his own political gains but that doesn’t mean that politics are completely out of his blood.  While visiting some Lehman Middle School students this past Wednesday, the often described uptight and robotic former presidential candidate tooted a loud gas explosion for the soon to be eligible voters.

At 35.9%, Baton Rouge's obesity rate is the highest among the nation's most populous metro areas. What do you think about this?

Papillion, NE –  Being a kid is tough.  Being an old guy is tough.  Both are entering and leaving comfort zones that they have been in for years.  One such pair in a small town in Nebraska are handling things in very different ways.

BINONDO, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - Apparently not content on its claim over the disputed territory in the South China Sea, the Chinese government today announced it was laying claim over the oldest Chinatown in the world -- in Manila! Manila's Chinatown, located in and around the Binondo district, was established in the late 1500s. It…

Yelp launched DreamYelp.com today, a new website that will allow users to evaluate businesses they patronize in their dreams.

NASA Scientists released information, along with a Top Secret report, concerning the recent discovery of human remains spotted laying on the surface of the Earth’s moon.

COLUMBUS, OHIO (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and megalomaniac billionaire Donald Trump told voters he was an expert on wind power, and viewed wind as the most reliable and realistic renewable energy source. Trump pointed to the well-documented fact that his mouth routinely unleashed massive amounts of very loud, largely incoherent, inhumanly strong, and exceedingly angry hot air at campaign events and virtually every other place graced with his presence.

Yesterday, real estate mogul and reality TV star Donald Trump officially announced his candidacy for president of the United States in a 45-minute speech. As a public service, we have fact-checked some of the bolder claims Trump made during his announcement.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI-01) declared Congressional Republicans will unveil their preliminary plan to replace Obamacare in 2219. Ryan urged Americans not to be concerned about Republicans incessantly attempting to kill the Affordable Care Act, because a plan to replace President Obama's signature healthcare law was already in the pipeline.

Putting the Catholic Church's money where the pope's mouth is, the Vatican is installing iconographic windmills following a papal encyclical calling for urgent action on climate change.

Barack Obama, the president of the United States of America, a former colony of Great Britain, won a quiz about French Presidents in October 2014, a White House spokesmom admitted last night.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles ® ) - The mainstream media have a tendency to whitewash news events that happen in The White House. But not us.  We report the news exactly the way it happened. When Obama was heckled during an LGBT event at The White House by a transgender Latina woman who admits being…

Greece needs more Euros.

The banks have eaten all the Euros.

With no new Euros to eat the banks will die.

The Euro will probably continue.

The Web only makes sense in the World Beyond! Liberate yourself from the Tyranny of Logic!

BATON ROUGE, Louisiana (The Adobo Chronicles®) - What if they held a beauty pageant and nobody watched it? Well, that's exactly what was going to happen to the Miss U.S.A. and Miss Universe pageants after NBC Universal and Univision both severed their relationship with pageant owner Donald Trump. The two networks fired Trump after his…

Major Tim Peake entered the Space Station with thumbs skywards even though up there skywards was downwards. But in spite of the sky confusion all went well and endless messages from the Space Station are expected in the coming six months.

OK, you whiney bitches, I get it. You’re pissed as fuck we fired Teresa Buchanan as associate professor. Maybe you should be. But goddammit, what else were we supposed to do?

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles®) - The fourth of July would have been a perfect day to welcome the 51st state of the United States, but it seems that may have to wait for yet another year. A U.S. territory, Puerto Rico, and a former U.S. colony, the Philippines, are the top contenders to become the latest…

PENSACOLA, FLORIDA (The Nil Admirari) - Today, avid Fox News viewer and Glenn Beck listener Nora Jolly declared she was outraged no one was stopping her from saying "Merry Christmas." Jolly - a casual church-goer who prefers to converse with God directly - told TNA she actively attempted to start multiple fights with unfortunate cashiers and other consumers at well-known department stores near her home, and no one told her she could not use the Christmas pleasantry.

While Trump seems obsessed with golden calves, he apparently has no regard for sacred cows, even the most esteemed Gipper.