Russell, KS –  Look into 92 year old Bob Dole’s eyes.  No, really look.  What do you see?  Great American?  Yes.  Proud veteran?  Absolutely.  A man who lived a full and worthwhile life?  Most of us may not know the true answer to that but let’s go with “OK” on that one.

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  From Safeway to Whole Foods to Trader Joe's, avocados have disappeared from grocery shelves, and the situation has created a severe shortage of guacamole  in California. Taquerias have been serving salsa with their corn chips, minus the guacamole. The Chipotle restaurant chain has set a limit of one…

THE WEST BANK, ISRAEL (The Nil Admirari) - Once again, Republican presidential candidate and former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee escaped from Bellevue Hospital, and somehow ended up in Israel today. Huckabee's second vacation from mental health workers followed his statement about Israelis being led to ovens by President Obama due to the nuclear agreement his administration reached with Iran.

CHARLOTTE — Carolina Panthers third-string quarterback Joe Webb attempted to get some attention today off of all the cov…

Local cats could be about to start talking just like a cat on Youtube, below, in what could be their biggest evolutionary step so far as they start to pick up vocabulary from locals.

DALLAS, Texas  (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Donald Trump may have been focusing on the wrong country -- Mexico -- in his campaign to end illegal immigration. Building a great wall along the entire stretch of the U.S.-Mexico border has been the focal point of his campaign. A new report from the Migration Policy Institute…

A libertine Texas man is the first confirmed case of the Zika virus being transmitted via sexual contact with a vector.

HOLLYWOOD, California  (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The movers and skakers of the American television industry have just had it with indecent exposure on live TV and on the red carpet at awards shows. In a rare move by the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) and the National Cable Television Association (NCTA) with the full…

David Cameron, still the prime minister, has sorted that Europe thing out he said he would, according to David Cameron today.

Experts warn of 'erotic apocalypse' if public given access to recently uncovered ancient pornography. UK government seeks to suppress addictive classical smut amid fears that its potency could destroy civilisation.

SACRAMENTO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Forget about the proposed ballot initiative creating four Californias. How about making the Golden State an independent republic? It's just a matter of time before the world's eighth largest economy  will become a country separate from the rest of the United States. Already, there is a growing consensus especially among…

"Well, I'd rather be possessed than obese." Jessie Krufts, Fat Shamer

Is Tory Government Siphoning Off Public Funds in Guise of Spending Cuts to Build Space Station Haven? 'Blue Heaven' Project to Provide Top Tories with Luxury Refuge After Trashing UK.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  Overwhelmed by the Pope's presence, and the enlightenment of The Holy Spirit, a tearful and repentant House Speaker John Boehner promised to lead the Republican Party to institute major reforms long resisted by the GOP. Pope Francis addressed a joint session of the U.S. Congress this morning, calling on…

"I would have been happy with a woof rather than a yap." Jessie Krufts, Pancake Flipper

U.S. space agency NASA has discovered evidence of water on Mars, offering the surest sign yet that drinkers who eventually live on the red planet might be able to enjoy life there.

HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Is it film imitating life, or life imitating film? Following Monday's earth-shattering announcement by NASA that scientists have discovered flowing water -- ergo, life -- on Mars, the space agency unveiled its new spaceship  scheduled to head for the red planet in mid- 2016, with human crew members. In addition…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, the campaign of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton announced the candidate was under the influence of shrooms when she voiced opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) yesterday. Hillary Clinton confirmed she ingested "a lot" of shrooms just before claiming she opposed TPP, and confessed it would be ridiculous for Americans to believe such a statement in light of her negotiating and promoting of TPP as Secretary of State - and continuing to promote TPP after resigning.

Is Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn High Priest of a Powerful Witches' Coven? Astonishing Claims From Tory Back Bencher Who Alleges that Corbyn Plans to Destroy Britain Through Black Magic.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the White House announced it planned to indiscriminately bomb "way more" civilian targets in the Middle East than it had been prior to the terrorist attacks in Paris last night. President Obama explained air strikes that resulted in significant collateral damage were "the only way" to show the West's enemies that targeting civilians outside of the Middle East was completely unacceptable.