WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - The Nil Admirari finished negotiations with the Republican National Committee (RNC) today and will host a Republican presidential debate on September 28th, 2015 at the Providence Performing Arts Center (PPAC) in Providence, Rhode Island. Unlike the Republican debates sponsored by the Mickey Mouse news outlets, the Nil Admirari debate will include every person who has registered to run for president as a Republican.

Dallas, TX – (satireworld.com)
The State Department has taken a request under consideration from the national headquarters of Planned Parenthood in which the controversial abortion organization has asked for more liberal access to the migrant guest worker visa program in order to help out with the upcoming PP annual harvesting of baby parts set to begin in peak season which is mid to late February.

Revealed at Comic Con in San Diego.

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - If you've ever been stopped at a sobriety checkpoint, you know what the police officer will have you do to test if you've been driving under the influence. Step out of your car, point to your nose, walk a straight line, recite the alphabet backwards and so on.…

DENVER (The Barbed Wire) - Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning is fuming this week amid rumors he used human growth hormone (HGH) to recover from surgery several years ago. Al Jazeera, the source of record for football in the United States, claims in a report that Manning was supplied steroids from a clinic in Indianapolis in 2011.

GREECE (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, all Greeks who lived outside the capital of Athens decided it was time to break into the city-state model again to show the complete lack of cultural and political unity in Greece. The announcement was made by the Greek people in response to the Syriza government in Athens betraying Greeks by agreeing to a harsh bailout from the European Union (EU).

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - A clearly drunk Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) announced today he purchased a controlling interest in the Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery. Boehner purchased 51% of the winery because it produced the jugs of Carlo Gallo Chablis he liked.

Battling cancer since he was five, Jake Doughty's illness never gave him a chance to go hunting or even fire a gun, but the 10 year-old still managed to take down a white tail buck before he died Monday.

Numerous regular contributors to Facebook and Twitter are reporting that someone has been shot today.  Social media is buzzing as sketchy details continue to pour in.  It’s unclear whether there are injuries or casualties but something has definitely been shot by a handgun.

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie told Fox and Friends that he was "not mad, just stop citing stupid poll numbers." Christie has consistently been polling lower than the margin of error in most national polls of likely Republican primary voters, and will not be eligible to participate in the first Republican debate being hosted by Fox News next week if that continues.

Summer holidayers across the world have been warned not to eat ice creams while crossing busy roads, according to the United Nations.

Hopping around in anger on his stuck-together legs, the 2016 Oscar for Best Actor was livid with having to go to yer another white actor.

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Republican presidential candidate and billionaire Donald Trump threw a kitten off of the 58th floor of Trump Tower this morning. Trump claimed he did it to show everyone he was unstoppable, and polls taken immediately following the incident showed him surging even further ahead of his Republican opponents.

NEW YORK, New York  (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The word war between Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump and FOX News seems to be coming to an end, thanks to  an agreement recently made between Trump and FOX News Chairman Roger Ailes. Earlier in the week, Ailes was quoted as saying to Trump, 'We resolve…

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump laid out his immigration policy last weekend: build a border wall paid for by Mexico, deport all of the 11 Million undocumented immigrants now in the U.S., and amend the constitution to re-define birthright citizenship. Today, Trump fired one of his employees,…

LAS VEGAS (The Barbed Wire) - After a town hall meeting here this week, reporters again tried to get Hillary Clinton to come clean over her continuously unraveling email scandal. Revelations keep mounting that the former first lady broke the law and tried to deceive the public about her dealings as Secretary of State.

"It's not Pick Of The POPs it's Pick Of The GOPS. Geddit?" Jessie Krufts, Local Radio DJ

And Trump had better think twice about being mean to any son of Barbara.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, the Republican National Committee (RNC) announced the GOP was adopting the slogan "VOTE GOP 2016 OR DIE." RNC Chairman Reince Priebus explained the new Republican slogan best summarized the current discourse of the party's members, especially its presidential candidates.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Earlier this week, the Rev. Al Sharpton declared that “people that were from Puerto Rico all would have to go back if their parents were undocumented.” In other words, Sharpton believes that Puerto Ricans are not  U.S. citizens. Soon enough, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, while speaking to a…