"I tickle torture my cat behind his ears. He fetches me my newspaper now, well more like drags it to me... But, on balance, brilliant."

"It's a super triple double king bonus plus plus size doggy-bed. That dog will feel like a doggy billionaire." Fred Flunkee, Salesman, Beds Inc

"Just don't ask him to any memorial ceremony, he'll be 2 months early." Jessie Krufts, Wanderer

"I'm starting a campaign to get Vine videos increased in length from 6 seconds to 7 seconds each. JOIN ME!" Jimmy Popper, Campaigner

Episode 5 of Good Evening , The Enternet.

"That would be even funnier if it was a person in a hamster suit. Sports mascots take notes." Jessie Krufts, Hamster Designer

"I hope Affleck aims for 'grumpy Adam West' for his Batman interpretation." Jessie Krufts, Doctor

"It would have been funnier if he had got the hiccups during that. Is he playing for laughs or not?" Harry Zonderblurb, Fast Talker

"It makes a refreshing change from all that wooffing. 2 bones out of 10." Harry Zonderblurb, Critic

"And the plot is better handled than Die Hard 5 too." Jimmy Popper, Cinema Owner

"Yeah, not quite Mary Poppin's bag is it? Come back when you can get one pulling a large pot plant out of her mouth."

"So, is that five howls out of five, or just one big howl out of five? These dog reviewers confuse me." Jessie Krufts, Physicist

"It's still a better love story than Twilight." Jessie Krufts, Bean Counter

"In my experience, the joke soon wears off on a nude beach." Jessie Krufts, Fisher Man

"This looks like a whole new low budget youtube superhero series to this Netflix subscriber." Fred Flunkee, Netflix Subscriber

"It's a sad world when this would only make headline news if the squirrel got a gun and shot someone.#KnowWhatImSayin" Jimmy Popper, Fruit Correspondent (Strawberries) , CNN

Make America The Best celebrates the 50th anniversary of the release of Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece, "2001: A Space Odyssey" with this re-imagining of the climactic scene featuring a rogue computer named DON.

"Spect-cat-ular. Geddit?" Jessie Krufts, Retired 1950s Satirist

"So that's where I put my bug shaped hat." Jessie Krufts, Hat Collector

"Like giant Gummy Bears but hairy!" Kent Rugby, Confectioner