PHOENIX, ARIZONA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and extremely bored billionaire Donald Trump invited Black Lives Matter activists to his "Dogs & Fire Hoses Rally" in Phoenix later this week in order to open a dialogue. Trump supporters are being encouraged to bring breeds of dogs usually used by law enforcement agencies from home - if they have them - to facilitate the exchange of ideas during the rally, but Black Lives Matter activists in Phoenix have told TNA they were told to only bring themselves.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, President Obama designated the National Rifle Association (NRA) a Domestic Terrorist Organization and instructed the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) to destroy the highly organized terror network "for waging a campaign of terror on the American people." Both DHS and the FBI - who have been warning of right-wing terrorism for years - have already raided NRA Headquarters in Fairfax, Virgina, and arrested key members of the organization they hope will help lead them to NRA leader Wayne Lapierre.

LEVITTOWN, Pennsylvania (The Adobo Chronicles) - Earlier this week, The Adobo Chronicles reported that it was raining spiders in Goulburn, Australia. It seems the Aussies had it much better than residents of Pennsylvania, U.S.A. A Levittown family says their daughter's Sweet 16 birthday party was ruined when a passing airplane dropped human waste on the celebration Sunday evening. Joe…

Hoping to grab the eye of Memorial Day shoppers, fashion mogul Pacific Sun released a t-shirt today with an upside down American flag on it.  If only they had known the shelling from angry Internet shoppers they were about to receive.  Or did they?  One such Internet rioter says the t-shirt maker knew exactly what they were doing.

DORAL, Florida (The Adobo Chronicles) -The True Invisible Empire Traditionalist American Knights of the Ku Klux Klan describes itself as an Order of the Highest Class for White Christian Men of Intelligence and Character. It is one of many current unnconnected groups that use the KKK name. The Ku Klux Klan (KKK), or simply "the Klan",…

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) -  Just last month, the State Department warned U.S. citizens of the risks of travel to the Philippines, in particular to the Sulu Archipelago, certain regions and cities of the island of Mindanao, and the southern Sulu Sea area. U.S. citizens should continue to defer non-essential travel due to the high…

PALMYRA, SYRIA (The Barbed Wire) - It appears the remodeling bug has hit the terror group ISIS in the Middle East. The group recently signed a deal with HGTV for a show in which a camera crew will follow the terrorists around to various locales as they turn the once historically rich region into the world's biggest sandbox.

"Mammon worship is now the faith in the Land flowing with Koch and Money," said the Lord, throwing his support to Bernie Sanders. Michael Egan, Humor Times.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the largest corporate media outlets in the United States announced they were "working very, very hard" on a plan to continue trying to make U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont look unelectable in 2016 even when he started to win states and delegates in the Democratic Party presidential primaries. The corporate propaganda syndicate conceded its efforts to ignore and portray Bernie Sanders as unelectable had, thus far, failed to convince many Americans of the inevitability of Hillary Clinton - the pro-war, pro-fear, and status quo candidate considered t

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the results of a TNA study were released and showed over 67% of Americans were eager for a new ground war in the Middle East, which will initially target the Islamic State (ISIS) before putting Iran in its sights. The hawkish Americans asserted there should always be money for war, and American citizens should have to pay the price of funding the overseas empire with cuts to social safety net programs, education, infrastructure, and healthcare, among many other things.

Putting the Catholic Church's money where the pope's mouth is, the Vatican is installing iconographic windmills following a papal encyclical calling for urgent action on climate change.

Anywhere, USA
For years now we have lived through the terrible tragedy of random shootings and mass murders at the hands of gunmen. Each and every-time the media covers the story for days on end and usually heaps blame via pundits or reporters on the NRA, gun rights supporters, gun owners and even retailers who sell guns.

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari): Earlier today, Fox News talking head Bill O'Reilly claimed he had "three to five black friends" so everyone should "shut their trap," because he had the credentials to talk about race relations in America. O'Reilly needed two days of constant public pressure to recall how many black friends he had after political pundit Kirsten Powers asked him that very question on "The O'Reilly Factor."

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and emotionally unstable billionaire Donald Trump told his Caucasian supporters they will have lower wages when he becomes president, but not as low as groups like Blacks, Hispanics, and/or Muslims. Trump promised American Caucasians a reward for their ongoing refusal to join with Americans of other races and religious creeds to demand better wages and working conditions, namely by having those groups to look down on and feel superior to.

SAN JOSÉ, Costa Rica (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - In 2010, conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh promised that if Obamacare became law in the U.S., he would leave the country and move to Costa Rica in 5 years. Well, it's been 5 years and Obamacare is the law of the land, upheld not once,…

Denver, CO – Gerald Buckhalter’s family did not expect to be planning his funeral today.  The 32 year old park ranger swallowed three cyanide pills this morning and took his own life.  The only evidence left behind is a voicemail that Gerald left for his friend at 8:43am.  It was quickly released by police so further such incidents could be avoided.

Black people have agreed to expel Don Lemon from the black race due to his stupidity and his habit of driving people mad with his opinions.

The question mark face tattoo. It’s a trend that’s been growing in popularity, but until recently no one understood why.

A group of elderly Nazi war criminals hiding in South America are planning to present Pope Francis with a Swastika crucifix.

Portland, ME –  Malcom Werner and his wife Pippy came to an agreement about 6 months ago.  Malcom would stay home with their 3 kids and Pippy would be the breadwinner of the family with the accounting work she does.