Philmaggitti

Richard B. Spencer, who has been called the Golden Boy of the Alt-Right, will adorn the cover of GQ’s February 2017 (Valentine Day) issue. The handsome, natty, and oh-so-controversial Mr. Spencer, who seeks to spread the gospel of white nationalism, is already spreading the gospel that “Neo-Nazis” are a far cry sartorially from their goose-stepping, jack-booted, Sieg-Heil-saluting forebears.

Plus-size former comedienne, Amy Schumer is reportedly in talks with Lane Bryant to play Barbie in the first-ever, live-adaptation of the life and times of Mattel’s beloved doll. In this diversity-themed epic, Miss Schumer will play a zaftig Barbie of indeterminate racial (and flexible gender) background who is banished from "BarbieLand" for "not being perfect enough." Is this science fiction or what? Miss Schumer hasn’t seen “not being perfect enough” since she first noticed that her toes were fatter than the other girls’.

Britney Spears is thirty-five today. We celebrate this occasion by recalling some of the more what-the-fuck-moments from her career. At 22, Britney married her childhood pal Jason Alexander in Las Vegas, Nevada, after a night of twinkie abuse and huffing glue. This ill-considered marriage, which was annulled or something like that in fifty-five hours, was the first in an epic series of oops-I-shit-the-bed-again moments Ms. Spears provided a gobsmacked nation for more than a year. The Pug Bus, which was then still a pup and apt to shit the bed itself, followed Britney's every swerve.

Postcards from the Pug Bus, the alt-right's favorite satire site, discusses the difference between the Roman and the Nazi salutes. You can't tell the players without this scorecard. Don't raise your arm without it.

I hereby declare that I do not wish to be known as a white person any longer. White person is a slave owner's term, and I do not want to be shackled by that sorry association. All future references to me, therefore, should say that I am a person of white©.