Web designer Wayne Jennings was cautioned by Suffolk police yesterday after admitting that he knew "next to nothing" about singer Taylor Swift.
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
At least £1.5 trillion has been lost in a nationwide scam that 'encourages' people to unwittingly transfer their money into a fraudster's account, according to Financial Fraud Study (FFS).
‘It’s a clever ruse, and utterly believable,’ said a spokesman for FFS. ‘The victim's employer receives a demand from a shady outfit calling itself HMRC to take a percentage of wages out of the victim's pay packet, falls for it, and then transfers the money to a 'safe account' where it can be frittered away by the fraudsters.’
‘It’s a clever ruse, and utterly believable,’ said a spokesman for FFS. ‘The victim's employer receives a demand from a shady outfit calling itself HMRC to take a percentage of wages out of the victim's pay packet, falls for it, and then transfers the money to a 'safe account' where it can be frittered away by the fraudsters.’
‘If you have to swallow a frog, don’t stare at it too long,’ Mark Twain says of 2016 vote. GATES OF PURGATORY – In an exclusive interview broadcast yesterday via GoogleSeance™ satellite, iconic American author Mark Twain sounded off about the upcoming presidential election. “I have a higher and grander standard than George Washington..."
Mr Blair concluded that it was probably best to leave things well alone for the time being.
by James Israel.They say ‘socialism’ is a dirty word — but Bernie Sanders is here to help clean it up. With Bernie Sanders running for the Democratic nomination for president, we finally have a real people’s voice in a major party race. It’s a welcome and much-needed contrast to the “Dynastic Duo” – yet another Clinton vs [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
A survey of UK incomes has confirmed that people with real jobs - defined by the government as ones they can explain to their parents - are destined to scrape along just above poverty levels until death, while total arseholes doing socially useless things that mean nothing to nobody have to compensate for their unpopularity with industrial quantities of loot.
Intelligence officials have closed down sections of the UK’s capital, in order to stage a simulation of the terror conditions that will occur in the wake of the Wimbledon Champion ‘choking in the quarter finals’.
The exercise involves 1,000 police officers, all of whom have been instructed to ‘taser on sight’ anyone seen weeping into a punnet of strawberries.
The exercise involves 1,000 police officers, all of whom have been instructed to ‘taser on sight’ anyone seen weeping into a punnet of strawberries.
bThe news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
Will the legalization of same-sex marriage destroy the world, as pundits claim? An alien invasion. Labor camps for heterosexuals. Man-dog marriage, followed by man-dog babies… If you think these weird scenarios are extracts from Charlie Sheen’s diary, think again. According to specific socially conservative pundits and right-wing legislators, the legalization of same-sex marriage will destroy [more...]
‘Thousands never made it out of the movie theatres alive. It was carnage.’
by DSaying He is “misunderstood,” God took the form of a Chihuahua to meet our reporter in Death Valley. Reporter: (texting madly) “Okay, James, big joke. Here I am in the middle of nowhere baking in Death Valley for my big mystery interview you set up, and there’s no one or nothing in sight for miles.”
A Camden-based graphics designer is to be the first person to travel around the world by unicycle. Asked if he was following in the footsteps of Columbus, Codey Grey said, 'He's so mainstream. You've probably never even heard of my favourite explorers.'
In a bid to save the second test against Australia, England has upped-stumps and moved the match to St Andrews Golf Course.
ITV has apologised for atrocities it committed in the 1970s, including Love Thy Neighbour and On The Buses.
An expert formerly employed by the Department of Education, now thought to have gone rogue, admitted today that the government's much-vaunted 'academies' programme consists solely of calling schools by another word that means the same thing.
Migrants have been making a series of complaints today at delays experienced at the Eurostar tunnel.
In a move thought to be the first of its kind Arsenal have placed midfielder Jack Wilshere on a zero-hours contract after running out of patience with the constantly injured player. As a result Wilshere will now be paid only when he plays for the club, a move that is expected to reduce his monthly earnings from £360K to a projected £87.19.
In an episode of Dragons' Den due to be broadcast by the BBC next month it has been revealed that the Greek Government appeared before the Dragons in an effort to secure much needed funds.
It has been revealed today that a collection of audio cassettes seized from Osama Bin Laden’s abandoned Afghan compound, actually contain an alarming amount of 80s pop tunes.
Brett Rogers, one of the first U.S. Navy Seals to enter the compound, claimed he was alerted to Bin Laden’s whereabouts by the distant melodic tones of Salt-N-Pepa’s Push It. ‘Well the lyrics do say that “this dance ain’t for everybody, only for the sexy people” obviously I took it as a sign’.
Brett Rogers, one of the first U.S. Navy Seals to enter the compound, claimed he was alerted to Bin Laden’s whereabouts by the distant melodic tones of Salt-N-Pepa’s Push It. ‘Well the lyrics do say that “this dance ain’t for everybody, only for the sexy people” obviously I took it as a sign’.