Satireworld

Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com)

The Blountstown Chamber of Commerce released its newest report on the recent discover of massive gold deposits that have placed the once sleepy Florida Panhandle town on the map of richest places to live in America. Chamber President Cletus Moore included in the report of 87 locals who are newly-made millionaires. The individuals have struck it rich by finding substantial gold deposits on once played out agricultural land that in some cases have been in family hands for generations.

Blountstown, FL- (SatireWorld.com)
The small panhandle town that sparked a gold rush after nuggets were found strewn all over farmer Van Peebles farm, has apparently disappeared!
Any reference to the town, Van Peebles, gold, and aliens, have disappeared from Wikipedia, and attempts to pinpoint the town and Parker’s Creek on Google Map are fruitless.

Safford, AZ- (satireworld.com)

The Federal Bureau of Prisons has released information that Jared Fogle, former Subway spokesman, has written and recorded several songs while serving in prison. Fogle is currently incarcerated in Safford, Arizona and is serving a sentence for having child pornography and for engaging in illicit sexual contact with underage women.

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com)
Network officials and show producers have announced that the 2019 season of “Dancing With The Stars” will feature nothing but “big” contestants. The “big,” however, is not what you would normally thing of as “big Hollywood stars.” All of next year’s contestants will be plus sized.

New York City (NYC) (satireworld.com)

Democratic Mayor Bill de Blasio and the NYC Council have passed an ordinance banning Coney Island Whitefish. The Coney Island Whitefish, better known as a Condom (latex/rubber), cannot now be disposed of in any manner (like flushing) that causes this protective device to wind up in any body of water within NYC limits, e.g. lakes, rivers (Hudson, East, Harlem/Spuyten Duyvil Creek, Brooklyn/Gowanus Canal, Canarsie) and the Atlantic Ocean. Currently in the summer months the Coney Island Whitefish can be seen, after dark, spawning in NYC waters.

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)
Nike, which is trying to corner and control the market on Un-Americans and Anti-Americans, has announced a follow-up to their Colin Kaepernick commercials. Famous traitor and subversive “Hanoi” Jane Fonda, who has been found guilty of treason in the court of public opinion but not in the Hollywood and Democratically controlled court system, will join ISIS terrorists in beheading Christian missionaries in an unknown Middle Eastern location.

Hollywood,CA – (satireworld.com)

Kim Kardiashian (a.k.a. Kim Kartrashian) was recently selected by a Hollywood celebrity panel as being the Least Talented Person in America. This was the sixth straight win for Kim, breaking the previous record set by Paris Hilton.

Muffinville, AZ – (SatireWorld.com)
Pampered snot-bag and full time RINO, Meghan McCain threatened to cutoff all and any affiliation with the Republican Party after talks fellow View panelists who placed the blame on Republicans for Hostess Brands shuttering its Twinkie plant doors in Texas as a long standing result of union unrest. Her apparent unhappiness with Republicans and Trump in particular spilled over during her eulogy at her late father’s 17th funeral event in 10 days with a very personal attack on President Trump.

NASA – (satireworld.com)
In the summer of 1969, The United States of America launched the Apollo 11 spaceflight. It landed on the moon on July 20th and Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon the next day. He was the followed by Buzz Aldrin. Training for the mission was done in Texas, California, Alabama, and Florida.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

Democratic Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi of the Fruitcake, California district, who is constantly looking everywhere to attempt to make President Donald Trump look bad, has now decided that he should be impeached because “he likes large breasted women.”

New York, NY- (satireworld.com)
Union fat cat Mark Rosenthal spends more time sleeping at his desk than organizing labor, a series of damning photos reveals.

The 400 plus pound president of Local 983 of District Council 37…the city’s largest blue-collar municipal-workers union…often downs a huge meal of cheeseburgers, shakes, onion rings, and pie, then drops into dreamland in the early afternoon, members of the union’s executive board told SatireWorld.

Satire World is pleased to present our ‘Photo of the Day’ Please welcome Buckwheat.

Vatican City -(SatireWorld.com)

In an effort to quell demands for his resignation from Vatican leaders, Pope Francis left Rome on Monday to travel to the US to visit shrines and diocese leaders. He hoped to stop at various religious landmarks he hadn't officially visited as Pope in previous US visits in an effort to shore up US solidarity after sex scandals have rocked the Church.

Houston, TX – (SatireWorld.com)

NASA Scientists released clarifying information, along with a hastily prepared Top Secret report, addressing the recent discovery of human remains spotted laying on the surface of the Earth’s moon.

The desiccated figure, reportedly dressed in what appears to be a cotton print house dress and apron, was discovered by the Hubble space telescope last March during a routine high resolution scan of the lunar surface.

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com)
Kate Upton just might go to a senior prom with a random LA high schooler just because he asked nicely in a video he made with several of his friends and the help of his lawn man.

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslims in general and the terrorists that some are so quick to embrace, don’t appear to be happy.

Why is it they always seem to want to hurry themselves along in committing suicide even at relatively young ages?

Fort Bragg, NC – (SatireWorld.com)

A white American couple gave birth to black baby boy in August at the Army hospital located in the sprawling Fort Bragg complex. The very surprised woman later claimed to her OB-GYN that she had become pregnant while watching a 3-D porno movie in a public theater!

Allenhurst, NJ – (satireworld,.com)

An enterprising 8th grade student from Allenhurst, NJ made the news this week after being suspended from Oakhurst Grammar School for trying to help out a few of his friends that were starving thanks to Michelle Obama’s Draconian school lunch mandate.

Wheel of Fortune – (satireworld.com)

After 35 years Vanna White has called it quits at Wheel of Fortune, one of TV’s most popular shows. The resignation caused a furor after it was discovered that the show’s computer system was hacked by Russians.

Albany, NY –
SatireWorld’s staff of writers has voted New York Governor Andrew Cuomo as it’s headliner…Douchebag-of-the-Week.