TORONTO — Los Angeles Lakers legend Kobe Bryant maintained his composure during a touching All-Star pregame ceremony hon…
Sunny Weathers tells how hooking up with a fat girl got him out of a ticket, and Adam Wilson reveals the story behind a still-running, decadelong private joke.
Comedian Evan Rabalais joins Jeremy and Sunny to talk about white guilt and the most wretched hive of scum and villainy in Baton Rouge.
Tim Cook, the leader of Apple, has said he is happy to be water boarded if it comes to it after his company refused to help the FBI in what many are saying is a marketing stunt gone too far.
MAPLES GROVE, Iowa--Speaking to a large gathering of chickens in their coop, local farmer Benjamin Fisher promised to finally put an end to the steady stream of foxes that have entered the pen unfettered over the years, if he is able to successfully secure financing to purchase the farm where the chickens reside. "And I'm…
Taylor Swift has taken it upon herself to offer Kanye assistance by sending Kanye a package of soon to expire coupons in hopes that it will alleviate some of his financial concerns.
LAS VEGAS — Undefeated and five-division world champion Floyd Mayweather, Jr. responded to Manny Pacquiao’s comments com…
Shocking new details of last year’s controversial nuclear accord between the Obama Administration and Iran have been revealed to the Dandy Goat, fueling outrage over what is widely viewed as a humiliating defeat for the United States.
DC has floundered as rival comic company Marvel has soared in recent years. With every record-breaking movie Marvel released, from Iron Man to Guardians of the Galaxy, DC executives tore their hair out and tried to reverse-engineer Marvel’s success.
Captioning a photo of three fish tacos, Sloan, who recently purchased several firearms, including an AR-15 assault rifle and several hundred rounds of ammunition at a gun show, wrote: "Fish tacos from Mariscos Mi Gusto. Yum."
"There seems to be no limit to these corrupting sartorial nightmares," sources say.
Strawberry jam, Britonses favourite jam, will no longer taste like it does today, but much better when we leave Europe, whispered an increasingly wild eyed Iain Duncan Smith today.
EARTH — World War III has broken out after a party cruise hosted by New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski sailed…
"I would have been happy with a woof rather than a yap." Jessie Krufts, Pancake Flipper
PORTLAND, OR — The social media community is in mourning, as one of this newspaper’s own contributors, Jess E. Hadden, has gone into hiding. Two weeks ago, he disappeared from Facebook. Now, he’s disappeared from Twitter — and nobody knows how to reach him.
The U.S. Justice Department is attempting to cajole Apple into granting it rear entry to iPhones by claiming doing so would not violate the tech company’s ethical standards.
LANCASTER, MASS. — The warden at the Souza-Baranowski Correctional Facility in Lancaster, Mass., has apologized after al…
Pushing back against FBI demands that Apple provide access to the iPhone of dead San Bernardino terrorist Syed Farook, Apple CEO Tim Cook is set to announce the launch of a new mobile terror platform, tentatively nicknamed iJihad, later this week.
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia returned to the bench today after dying February 13th to rule against Obamacare's mandate that religious-sponsored corporations must allow their employees access to contraception through their health insurance.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, a number of Republicans demanded President Obama and his family vacate the White House so the residence could be prepared for the next president. Republicans asserted the whole interior of the White House needed to be repainted, among other things, and such tasks would be much easier if the Obamas were no longer living there.