Satireworld

Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean – (satireworld.com)

In a scene reminiscent of a WWII era news reel, four of America’s remaining battle wagons steamed across the Pacific Ocean on their way to combat stations off the shores of Communist North Korea in response to alleged hacking charges levied against the regime of Kim Song-Un.

Beijing, China – (satireworld.com)

Life in the Chinese gay closet was lonely for Choi Lee. No friends. No one to talk to about his problems. Just a constant fear of a loud knock on his apartment door late in the evening. In communist China it’s just you and yourself shuttered away from life and reality, afraid the authorities will discover your secret and take you away somewhere that’s really secret too.
Today, that all changed when Choi Lee was the first to step out of the Beijing closet…

Zagreb, Croatia -(satireworld.com)

We’re not sure what movie was playing on TV way back in 1966 in the former republic of Yugoslavia, but it must have been so terrible that a woman died while viewing it. In fact, it took 48 years for someone to find her remains in her Communist-era apartment.

With poll numbers sliding faster than butter on a hot skillet, the current occupants of the White House are starting to realize that the moving date in 2016 might be a reality sooner than they really expected. Yes, even in Obamaland time flies. For the rest of us it hasn’t come fast enough.

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)

World Auction News reports that a personal item of a well known Sports Illustrated model used during the filming of a advertisement for Game of War has found its way on the popular auction site. In past days all bidding has gone thru the roof.

Bwanna, Kenya – (satireworld.com)

Game preserve officers tracked down and killed a 45 foot long crocodile today after it was seen leaving a village shortly after it decimated the inhabitants during an evening celebration. The reptile is being reported as the ‘world’s largest crocodile.’ First reports claimed upwards of 50 native villagers were eaten, but game warden Benji Wonamoto said the final body count was 75 and maybe more.

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com)
Researchers at the prestigious Harvard Medical School published a jaw-dropping study showing proof-positive results on what makes a person’s mind think in liberal political terms. After an exhausting 10 year study, over 5,000 local Boston residents and university students were given tests and DNA samples were taken in an effort to disprove several current theories. The opposite results startled researchers including Dr. Adam Feidler who wrote a 4,500 page peer reviewed paper on liberal thought patterns and its effect on the brain.

Vatican City, Rome – (satireworld.com)

Unchanged since the 1500’s, it’s rare to see a melding together of tradition and modernity as it is realized in the Papal Swiss Guards. The core mission is traditional: since 1506 they have protected the Pope and his residence in the Holy City. Unfortunately, the Swiss Guard’s weapons have not changed in over 500 years.

Little Rock, AR – (satireworld.com)

Their 12-year affair made Gennifer Flowers one of the most high profile mistresses in America. Now, two decades after they split amid scandal, the former news reporter from Little Rock, Arkansas wants to ‘sit down and talk’ with Bill Clinton.

A rejuvenated Barack Obama jumped out on stage like a young James Brown in front of a mostly live audience in DC today to announce that ....“Thanks to ME, the economy is back, the world is Tranquil, the RESET worked, and John Kerry should win the Nobel Prize!”

Shouts of ‘you lie’ and ‘BULL SHIT” were drowned out by paid political supporters bused in from a local unemployment office having multiple orgasms.

Warsaw, Poland-(satireworld.com)
Jurors in the famous accordion lawsuit case rendered a surprise decision when they found for the plaintiff in a 700,000,000 Zloty lawsuit against one of the area's largest employers.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)
The Obama administration has given instructions to the Immigration and Naturalization Service, the Border Patrol, Customs, and the Department of Homeland Security to hold and arrest Santa Claus if he is seen entering the United States on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Additionally, an all points bulletin and arrest warrants have been issued by the F.B.I for Santa (alias Kris Kringle, alias St. Nick).

After promising a ‘stocking-stuffer' like no other…And actually in a real pair of stockings, Santa Claus announced today the new cloning process will allow him to fulfill every male teenagers sexual dream for next Christmas too.

The US Department of Planets (USDOP) officially gave its blessing and has now listed Pluto as a verified planet after years of on again/off again speculation that it was merely a collection of ice and rocks without a specific planetary form.

Today, the same elite media who no doubt send their own kids to private schools that employ armed security, just can’t stop howling ridicule at the NRA’s idea to give every student in America those same protections.

Clarrisa Melton, age 37 and still single, has been fat all her life. Her mother and father were fat and so were her grandparents who were so large, they both worked in the circus. After many years of watching slim and trim women on TV, and beautiful toned women in magazines, Melton decided to shed her 175 excessive pounds by supporting Barack Obama.

A new study has confirmed something women have been complaining about for years. The research, out of the University of Breast Information and published in the current issue of Big Boob Magazine essentially corroborates the belief that people tend to focus more on the breasts and figure of a woman when analyzing her appearance than they do on her face.

After reviewing almost 5,000 digital photographs taken from inside the sunken luxury liner the Titanic, a Woods Hole scientist has concluded that there were survivors who lived inside the ship for up to five years after it slipped beneath the waves on April 14th, 1912.

Straight from the ‘say-it-isn’t-so’ department, but the folks over at TMZ have revealed and confirmed the super model voluntarily had her nipples removed from her trademark breasts in a 2 hour surgical procedure last weekend. According to TMZ, Upton is resting comfortably at a private resort in Arizona.

Alone and penniless for the first time, Fatima Bin Laden was forced to leave Pakistan last year and find work in her home country of Saudi Arabia after US Navy SEALS put an end to her husband Osama’s career as a world reknown terrorist.