Satireworld

Hillary “Rod-em” Clinton, NPI, was officially outed yesterday after long time Slick Willy’s paramour for 12 years in Arkansas, confirmed what many have thought for years: Her pants suits are not just for heteros anymore!
The long time mistress was touting her history with the former president at a book signing for her new non fiction novel “Gennifer De-FLOWERED”

Washington, DC - (satireworld.com)

Bargis Tryhol, the endearing and witty writer turned political activist and now 2016 Presidential Candidate, has issued his own stimulus plan to end the Obama-nomic turn down stagnating the entire US economy. Today Tryhol released his own 'Economic Stimulus' he plans to implement immediately upon taking office in January 2017.

Blountstown, FL (satireworld.com)

The last thing 44 year old Van Pebbles thought he’d ever be was rich and famous, but a short walk across a familiar stream changed his life last September.

“I was walking Spookie my pet golden retriver when we decided to cross Parker’s Creek at the wade. It was Spookie who actually found it,” said Peebles as he lifted a four ounce gold nugget for cameras.

Orlando, FL – (satireworld.com)

OK readers, put down that knife and fork and let’s review five national pizza restaurants that claim to produce, not only the best pizza, but the most authentic and tasty slices of an Italian delicacy this side of Naples, Italy.

Yellowstone National Park – (satireworld.com)

The popular online satire site, SatireWorld.com, has issued a written directive to its staff of seasoned humor authors warning them of writing material suitable for the LGBT community.... ‘from this day forward any persons who are gay, sorta gay, homosexuals, child perverts, upside-down gendered, trans-fatty gendered, or lesbians are banned from reading any posted satire articles on SatireWorld.’

San Quentin Prison – (satireworld.com)
Yes, the judge finally had enough and sentenced Lindsay Lohan to the electric chair. Sentence to be carried out immediately.
Lindsay Lohan knew immediately something was wrong when she woke up and found the prison chaplain by her bedside. After confronting him with tears in her eyes, Chaplain Piebottom explained that she wasn’t leaving jail after all, and in fact, was being moved to death row.

New York – (satireworld.com)

An Obamacare asshole screening initiative to clean up prospective presidential candidates has seen an ugly 'butt tatt' removed from Hillary Clinton’s saggy derriere according to Our Man Behind The Speculum.

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)
NBC News (sic) announced that Chelsea Clinton, the only acknowledged child of former President Bill Clinton, and ex-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, had been hired as a special correspondent for the network.
According to a spokesperson for the network, Chelsea’s first assignment will be to create a documentary cartoon reprising Alvin and the Chipmunks, tentatively entitled “Yes we have no nuts today but there’s plenty of Arugula!” a spoof on Christmas in the Obama White House.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

A spokesman for the US Secret Service unveiled a plot, supposedly by Tea Party activists, to kidnap President Barack Obama by using a trap-like device hidden at the White House. According to the spokesman, the Tea Party was going to keep the president hidden away until after the 2016 elections. The agent refused to release additional information, or his name, citing ‘need to know’ security. Since the service is ‘secret’ no other question could be answered for the press unless they guessed the right word.

Eastern Shore MD – (satireworld.com)
A federal judge has ruled for the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) in a lawsuit brought against the agency, regarding laws aimed to improve water conditions in the Chesapeake Bay. Marylander's want their bay waters cleaned up, but not by federal encroachment of Washington DC bureaucrats.

NYC,NY - (satireworld.com)

Ex-MSNBC TV host and actor Alec Baldwin was honored with a doctorate degree from George Washington University for his work as a liberal humanitarian and celebrated actor. Baldwin, age 55, said it was the best thing he’s ever received in in his life.
But then again, it was three years ago that Baldwin said his divorce from Kim Bassinger was the best thing in his life, and about six years ago where he claimed being an actor on TV was the best thing in his life, and only several weeks when Baldwin said being an ex- MSNBC TV host was the best thing in his life!

Brighton, MA – (satireworld.com)

‘Happy’ Ed Gleeson (aka The World’s Happiest Man) wasted no time in telling friends and family about his new-found riches after befriending Abul Gzentabula, a Nigerian banker who contacted Happy Ed by chance through his personal email last week.

Brighton, MA – (satireworld.com)

Brighton’s famous ‘Happy’ Ed Gleeson is now happier than ever for not only winning the state’s massive $181 million dollar lottery, but for getting himself divorced from a cheating wife, and then by the purest stroke of luck, winning the hand of a beautiful new fiancee…All in one week!

Brighton, MA-(satireworld.com)

'Happy’ Ed Gleeson is without a doubt the ‘Happiest Man in the World!’ He’s earned this distinctive title by never frowning, never being angry, and always having an upbeat and positive attitude.

Poland-(satireworld.com)

Former Ukrainian concentration camp guard John Demjanjuk’s trial began today for murders committed while he served as a Waffen SS Nazi death camp guard in German occupied Russia. He was finally arrested for lying on a citizenship application and entering the US illegally immediately after the end of WWII. In early 2001 he was deported back to Europe to stand trial for war crimes after a lengthy immigration battle against sending him back to Germany.

Chicago, IL - (satireworld.com)
They said it couldn’t be done, but two local girls did it! Now, there’s a new national champion on the hamburger eating circuit. Ellen Loiuse Barksdale and Mary Lou Helmutt were crowned the Hamburger Eating Champions at a recent franchise convention sponsored by parent company McDonalds.

Chappaqua NY – (satireworld.com)

Prospective Democratic Candidate former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton called a press conference in her suburban home’s flower garden to announce she was dropping out of the 2016 presidential race. Hillary made the pronouncement wearing her traditional pudgy white pants suit and sun glasses to hide the “tell,” indicative of when she is lying.

Saudi Arabia – (satireworld.com)

A Saudi cleric has called for all female babies to be fully covered by wearing the face veil, commonly known as the burka, citing reports of little girls being sexually molested by sex-starved Saudi men.

The Pentagon – (satireworld.com)

The nuclear-powered USS Grover Cleveland recently left the shipyards at Portsmouth and completed an exhaustive four month series of naval sea trials in the North Atlantic Ocean. The Cleveland, which is as long as the Empire State Building is tall, completed the submerged portion of the trials where the aircraft carrier evaded surface detection and cruised at a classified depth and speed for almost a month.

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)

Swirling rumors of Presidential candidate and business magnate Donald Trump’s secret Polish ancestry have surfaced in recent days tying the New York City icon to labor unions and the union’s leftist-based movement to socialize America.