Satireworld

New York City - (Satireworld)
Rock ‘n’ roller Jick Magger reveals to Satireworld reporters how he confided in the famous dead Beatle about his passionate weekend fling with famous Grassy Noel shooter Antonin Scalia, justice of the piss:
“One night at the Dakota Building apartment when Yoko was on the rag, comatose on quaaludes, John and I cracked open a case of Laphroaig….a patented Scottish mouthwash distilled from Highland piss.

Ottawa, Canada – (satireworld.com)

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Trump supporters are prompting an exodus among Bernie Saunders’ supporters who fear they’ll soon be required to become responsible citizens once Bernie Saunders is finally given his walking papers after the 2016 election.

Spokane, WA – (satireworld.com)

It started out as a simple picnic in Twin Falls Park when, through mo fault of his own, Anthony ‘Rocco’ Pietro felt different than when he first arrived at the picnic area. That’s what lawyers are saying in a recent lawsuit filed against Krafty Foods where they claim Krafty’s Zesty Italian Salad Dressing made their client into an instant homosexual.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

Ever since UK MI6 cryptologist Gareth Brooks was found naked (and dead) in a locked North Face carryall and his death ruled a ‘suicide’, demand has skyrocketed amongst the shadowy world of Spooks plying their trade around the globe.

Tuscany, Italy – (satireworld.com)
The Italian government was dumbfounded after hearing reports that the famous Tower of Pisa fell. Long touted as an impossible building that had an accurate description attached to its name, the 183 foot tower fell with a loud crack and thud as crowds of sweaty tourists from Russia swelled around its base.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)
Among the Republican presidential candidates are a billionaire businessman, neurosurgeon, and a constitutional lawyer. When has the Democrat opposition had anything even remotely close?
This election cycle the Democrats feature a woman with more scandals than achievements, and a man who thinks spending tens of trillions of dollars makes things “free.”

Washington DC – (satireworld.com)
President Barack Obama met in the Oval Office with a representative from the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), a Mr. A Hamilton. The OPM representative introduced himself as the Attitude Adjustment Advisor (AAA) for the US government. When a federal employee leaves his current duty station a set of mandated AAA procedures must be followed prior to termination of employment. In your case Mr. President January 20, 2017 at 12:00 PM is your last day on the job.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

As part of the GLADD, NAMBLA, and transgender community’s outreach program, the Uncle Herbert School of Childhood Diseases and Molestation has received its first installment of a $2 million dollar grant from the Department of Health and Human Services completing a decades-old search to have the school’s inclusion with-in the federally protected sexual predator community.

Washington DC- (satireworld.com)

It was an extremely hot and humid day in the Capital City, even for July 1, 2016, as the temperature was well over 98 degrees Fahrenheit by 8:00 AM EST. President Barack Obama was awakened by Senior Adviser to the President Valerie Jarrett concerning an emergency National Security Council meeting at the US Department of State. The meeting included Secretary of State (SOS) John Kerry and Department of Defense (DOD) Secretary of Defense Ash Carter.

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)

Bernie Sanders(S-D-Vt) now making it possible for unemployed college graduates to kick their parents out of their homes in order to compensate for years of white privilege and oppressing their long suffering kids!

London (UK) – (satireworld.com)

An Islamic cleric residing in London said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”
The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Sawsana news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

Albany, NY – (satireworld.com)
It was supposed to be a day of excitement, but quickly turned into a day of some very tense moments as skydiving novice Edna Bellfore made her first nude parachute jump. Her attempt was an effort to break a long-standing world record of skydiving while nude.

Vegas, NV – (satireworld.com)

Ahead of the Nevada Democratic caucuses, a group of ‘sex workers’ operating under the name Hookers for Hillary is going all in for Hillary Clinton’s campaign…touting her positions on letting her husband screw anything with a pulse and her favoring lesbian issues as contributing factors in giving their 'hole-hearted' support.

Reno, NV – (satireworld.com)

After another gagging event during a $650,000 speaking engagement at a LBGT event Hillary finally coughed up the problem…a giant Hairball some say may be linked to “close personal assistant” Hummer Wiener!

Dallas, Texas – (satireworld.com)
Rockers Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby have a few kind words for their fans…’We love you guys!’ Ever since the rock group ‘The Lee Harvey Oswald Band’ was formed fifty years ago, success still seems to have followed them wherever they play.

Washington DC – (satireworld)

Chief Justice John Roberts, 97, and fellow associate justice Ruth Bader ‘Meinhof’ Ginsburg, 104, will be tested this evening amid growing concerns neither ‘has shown much sign of life’ ever since colleague Antonin Scalia was found RIP on Saturday.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)


Tiny, rolling balls of brain cells knocking around in a lab may one day help keep Bernie Saunders supporters from losing their place while reading the back of cereal boxes, staring at shiny objects, and other attention robbing activities that quickly spiral out of control causing deeply troubling illusions of winning an election using promises and an agenda that became stale back in 1917.

Brooklyn, NY – (satireworld.com)
Arnold Horshack is very angry that fellow Brooklynites are mistaking him for disgraced ex-congressman Anthony ‘Underpants’ Weiner (D-Jerkoff).

Weiner is receiving renewed attention ever since he announced his ‘possible’ intentions of running again for New York City mayor after recent polls have shown most voters have almost forgotten his nude photos adventure. If fact, most polled said they reallyt wanted to just forget the Brooklyn pervert

Whig CA: (satireworld.com)

The town of Whig CA was founded by Atheists, but the town’s population according to the latest US Census is only about 500 and still dwindling. The most popular sport is fox hunting, as males out number females by a ratio of two to one.

Hanoi, North Vietnam (satireworld.com)

General Vo Nguyen (Dinky dau) Giap, architect of Vietnam’s resistance against first France, than the US. died one year ago today. A national celebration of his military life was being observed across the world including the US, family members and government officials said.