ANN ARBOR, MICH. — Michigan Wolverines head coach Jim Harbaugh has announced that he will open his home as a foster pare…
David Cameron, still the prime minister, has sorted that Europe thing out he said he would, according to David Cameron today.
PORTLAND, OR — That's because as of yesterday, Bullseye Glass Co., located at SE 21st & Powell, temporarily ceased the practice of pumping the two toxic carcinogens into the air at dozens of times the maximum safe level.
"I’ve got mad skills. I can jump and run and throw. I can also drink lots and lots of alcohol and still make a woman be quiet or put her in her place. References available upon request.”
CHICAGO — Chicago Bears head coach John Fox wept himself to sleep last night while browsing through Facebook and Instagr…
“You want a leader who can stand up to Washington?” said the smarmy sociopath in the ad. “C’mon. I just spent two hours giving Congress the middle finger to its face. Literally. I make Trump look like an amateur.”
SANTA CLARA, CA — According to several reports from eyewitnesses that have seen him just hours before Super Bowl 50 is t…
Pet rabbits around the the world are being arbitrarily detained and can claim compensation from their owners. That's the shocking verdict delivered today from the United Nations.
Using a megaphone to command supporters to join him in a butt-shaking dance called the “Trump Bump,” presidential candidate Donald Trump did a victory lap in a golden chariot, just minutes after it became apparent that he had overwhelmed his opponents in New Hampshire’s Republican primary.
NEW YORK — The New York Knicks know who they want to lead their team next and it’s Cleveland Cavaliers head coach LeBron…
Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose will take part in a live televised sex foursome to bury the hatchet and make peace.
PROVO, UT — Provo Times-Union columnist Jeff Dailey wrote an undeniably terrible column about Cam Newton following Super…
The ATF conducted a raid on an illegal meme factory operating out of Boise, Idaho, killing nine and releasing hundreds of animals with ironic expressions and headgear into the wild.
A Donald Trump supporter is proudly showing off his new tattoo of the Republican front runner in tabloids across the globe, it appeared when we looked in other tabloids as we don't have it in ours.
ARTISANAL PRESS — Research recently published in a peer-reviewed journal suggests that the latest generation of political radicals in the United States is, itself, undergoing a radical change. Dr. Mike Godwin, behavioral & political scientist at Reed University, claims that a large number of twentysomething radical leftists — many voting for the first or second time in their lives — are getting fat, and changing their voter registration to Democrat.
“Though he’s only been on the scene a short time, he’s made inroads,” said political analyst Donna Brazile.
45 year-old truck driver and avowed white supremacist Luke Chandler of Alabaster, Alabama finished his appearance on Jeopardy this Thursday with a score of –22,600, a new record low for any contestant on the game show since its inception in 1964.
HOUSTON —Rockets big man Dwight Howard is on the market and Houston general manager Daryl Morey says he has already rece…
With the unexpected death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus is dismayed at having wasted his last wish from that genie on a sandwich.
ARTISANAL PRESS — If you’re in the doghouse this Valentine’s Day, then don’t feel too badly. This year, as it turns out, you’ll have some bluechip companionship with you. That’s because of social media fall-out over Google’s decidedly insensitive “Go Ogle” Valentine’s Day greeting, which is one of several randomly-served logos appearing on the search giant’s homepage today.