Satireworld

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)
Barry is feeling the bern as the 74 year old communist is closing on Hill the Pill for the democratic nomination! “This could be our last year in paradise,” Barry was heard on a hot mike with Debbie the Douche at a MA fundraiser!

Paris, France – (satireworld.com)

French politicians recently approved a measure that would allow massive religious ceremonies usually held on Friday afternoons in various public parts of the French capitol. According to well placed sources, parts of the event was discouraged at first when children as young as five-years old were noticed walking among the participants. Some facial injuries were reported and prompted the speedy crackdown. (no pun intended) Repeated warnings were ignored and finally, with a 100% approving vote, the measure was brought up in a binding resolution, than passed

New Jersey – (Satireworld)

Emergency liposuction compressors are on standby at Dumbthwacket, official residence of New Jersey’s Governor, amid rapidly spreading rumors the GOP heavyweight has been chosen as Donald T Rump’s running bait. Mate.

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com)

At a recent international auction house, a man’s sweaty jockstrap sold for a reported $350,000. No ordinary physical supporter, this particularly innocuous looking jockstrap was the property of Bargis Tryhol, the Man With The World’s Largest Penis, and now he’s equally famous as a US Presidential contender for the 2012 US Presidential race.

Washington DC- (satireworld.com)
The political turmoil in the USA, eight months before the November presidential elections, grows more acute every day. Both political parties are caught up in a swirling eddy of accusations: Republicans as to which candidate has the bigger hands or penis, who is more presidential, whose wife did what; Democrats as to who lied about Benghazi Libya Islamic terrorist attacks (getting Americans killed), who passes TOP SECRET emails over unsecured communications and adopting democratic socialism vice capitalism.

Lavonia, MI – (satireworld.com)
Laws in some states requiring chocolate Easter bunnies to be eaten ears first are being protested by several deaf and hard of hearing groups. They find these rules to be discriminatory and feel that they demean the very real disabilities of those with hearing loss.

The suspect had bunny gore all over her face when police arrested her in a Port-A-Jonnie near Spokane International Airport
Spokane, WA – (SatireWorld.com)
Sarah Eostre was a normal teenage girl of 17 from all outward appearances. Her room at home had scores of frilly dolls, the usual posters on the wall, piles of school books, and an open and marked copy of 'Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse' a novel by Robert Rankin. Also in the room was dark secret kept hidden away in the back of a closet.

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com)

First, you could rent a house. Renting cars and moving vans were followed by renting to own furniture, electronics, or appliances. The next evolutionary steps were rent to own tires and rent to own home computers. The latest innovation in this fast growing industry are rent-to-own breast implants!

Springfield, MO – (SatireWorld.com)

Rodeo days in Missouri are filled with double standards after officials from the Missouri State Fair apologized Sunday when a rodeo clown dressed as President Barack Obama sparked an uproar on Saturday evening. In nearby Springfield, vice president Biden left his VIP seat and donned a clown outfit then chased a bull causing the crowd to wildly cheer.

The White House – (satireworld.com)

First lady Michelle Obama has sorta evicted her 76 year-old mother Marian Robinson from the White House in an apparent effort to boost her appeal to struggling middle-class voters.

Whoa! Not so Fast Michelle! Your mother, Marian Robinson, has lived in the White House since March 2009, when Essence Magazine announced her move from Chicago to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
“She will stay as long as her son-in-law and daughter want her to stay there,” Angela Burt-Murray, the editor of Essence Magazine, said in an April 2009 “Today” show interview.

Blountstown, FL – (SatireWorld.com)

Ten year old Billy McIntyre has something to show off at his school’s Friday Show ‘n Tell after discovering a 5lb gold nugget lodged in a sunken tree stump in rural Blountstown, Florida.

New York City, NY - (SatireWorld.com)
Louis Farrakhan, head of the Nation of Islam, was recently named Grand Marshall for the 2016 New York City “Eat a Turd for Mohammed Day” Parade.

The Parade, which will cover the same distance and route as the more famous Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, is expected to be viewed by hundreds (and to disrupt New York City traffic for hours).

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

Shaking your manly drain tube could literally become a crime under newly proposed federal legislation, which would give the Federal Trade Commission power to regulate post urination penis shaking at public urinals.

Washington AC/DC – (Satireworld)

Code breakers gathering for the FBI’s annual cryptology beano this weekend are miffed at the introduction of intrusive ‘cavity’ searches amid mounting speculation that a Bob Hanssen-style communist sympathizer may have infiltrated the Bureau’s legendary decryption division.

Gordon, Iowa – (satireworld.com)

Speaking to a crowd of twenty-something Millennials in Iowa, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton spoke out in support of parents choosing tattooing and body piercings of their children some as early as 6 months as a way of promoting individuality and celebrating a personal diverse way of life

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – (SatireWorld.com)

In a startling reversal of government policy the King of Saudi Arabia and the Kingdom’s Council of Ministers has legalized the driving of automobiles by women. Burkas are still required while driving. (Saudi Arabia was the only country in the world to still prohibit women divers.)

Bonn, Germany-(SatireWorld.com)

Adolph Hitler’s grand-daughter, Ava Gesundheit Braun is planning her lavish wedding with detailed preparations for food and entertainment, plus a grand guest list that includes many from the recording industry. Also included are scores of prominent skinhead leaders from around the globe.

Jackson,TN – (SatireWorld.com)

A woman in Tennessee filed a complaint with the Tennessee Department of Health after she said a doctor told her that her back pain was caused by her ‘ghetto booty.’

Cowplains, IL – (satireworld.com)

A white lesbian woman who sued after she was accidentally impregnated with the sperm of an African American man will be forced to refile the lawsuit after an Illinois judge tossed out her claim against the sperm bank as a frivolous and stupid lawsuit.

West Palm Beach, FL – (satireworld.com)

The Palm Beach, FL Jewish community launched an all out search for D&C Charperson (sic) Debbie Wasserman Schultz after she went out ‘trick or treating’ Halloween night and never returned home!
The Palm Beach sheriff’s department announced a ‘Kinky Alert’ shortly after 4 days when her husband, who never noticed she was missing, finally called the local synagogue trying to find out if the marathon mahjong fund raiser for Obama had concluded!