Satireworld

Las Vegas, NV – (satireworld.com)
Nevada Senator Harry Reid announced that he plans “to campaign really hard” in order to become Hillary Clinton’s running mate if she becomes the nominee of the Democratic Party in the 2016 elections. Reid, who believes that “Hillary can do great things to and for the American people, just like her husband Bill,” says that there are a lot of factors on his side:

Philadelphia PA - (satireworld.com)
Democratic Party presidential presumptive nominee Hillary Clinton (Nana) and her husband former President Bill Clinton (Bubba) have written a second theme song for the 2016 Democratic National Convention. This new song, “That Old Black Vote,” reflects the far left wing principles of today’s Democratic Party. It will be sung by the Reverend Al Sharpton, as the Keynote Address, to the melody of “That Old Black Magic.

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)
Former First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State verified her frigid condition to the world with her latest lawsuit. The potential Presidential candidate spilled a twenty-two degree McDonald’s milkshake in her lap and sued the fast food chain because of the burns that she suffered.

Cornwall, England – (SatireWorld.com)

Clara Meadmore, who celebrates her 105th birthday Saturday, says she knows the secret to a long life….No sex! The retired secretary, who lives in a nursing home in Cornwall, southwestern Britain, says she is still a virgin and has no regrets about it, according to reports in British newspapers and on SatireWorld.

London-(satireworld.com)
Mohammed Moogoto says he doesn’t miss Pakistan any longer, especially the daily threats of violence and a life filled with occasional chaos. Today, Mohammed gets up every morning and drives his new S-series Mercedes Benz to his custodial job at the Entomology Center at Norwich Pharmaceutical Company in NW London, where he cleans laboratories and keeps the floors highly waxed.

Phoenix, AZ – (SatireWorld.com)

An Arizona legislator raised eyebrows this week with a suggestion that the state should name a holiday just for Caucasian males. State Rep. Cecil Ash’s remarks began in jest while he was speaking on the Arizona House floor Monday, but when asked to clarify them later, Ash doubled down and said he thought such a holiday was a good idea.

Havana, Florida – (SatireWorld.com)
Bowing to recent criticisms concerning its bathroom facilities, toilet tissue, hand towel supplies and ongoing labor relation issues, SatireWorld’s Bargis Tryhol has instituted a fresh bold approach in offering his writers the best in public restroom accouterments…Free public toilets with a slight twist!

Wonders-of-the-World Headquarters, NYC – (SatireWorld.com)
A new list of the Seven Wonders of the World will be selected to replace the ancient ones long gone or forgotten. This will be done in a style where one third of the votes will be cast by a panel of scientists, politicians, doctors, architects, and historians.
One third of the vote will be cast by a group of celebrities (Simon Cowell, Jerry Springer, and Britney Spears). The other third of the vote will also be based on a voter call-in from a reality show to be broadcast on jointly on ABC (the United States), the CBC (Canada), and

Manchester (UK)-(SatireWorld.com)

A delivery driver with dyslexia read an address backwards and accidentally delivered Man U’s order to a Manchester fast food restaurant. After opening a box they thought intended for them, the crew of a McDonald’s learned that the box of red, lacey, silk athletic supporters was actually meant for the Man U Premier League team.

(SatireWorld.com)
The Food and Drug Administration issued a release saying that a new breakfast cereal from England, Dingleberry Nut Crunch, will not be allowed to be imported into or sold in the United States. The cereal, which has become a best seller in the British Isles, has a marketing campaign similar to Wheaties (the cereal box currently features the Man U soccer team). Manufacturers at Dorking Mills intend to appeal the restrictions.

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)

After a string of scandal revelations, perhaps the biggest to hit the Obama Administration is the scope and size of the NSA’s intercepts of emails and phone conversations where virtually every phone call is recorded and passed on to the White House.

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com)

The popular series of the The Holy Jihad Comic Books have broken publication records that spanned four decades. With the introduction of ‘Burka Madness’ and the second edition, ‘Infidels Invade the 7-11’, a second and third work shift of printers had to be hired to keep up with demand from retailers around the world.

Chicago, IL (SatireWorld.com)

There is finally conclusive evidence that Osama bin Laden and Muammar Qaddafi are really dead. Yesterday, they both registered to vote in the city of Chicago.

The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com)

History was re-written today when Cmdr. David Montgomery’s tell all book concerning the successful Navy SEAL Team 6 raid on the Osama Bin Laden compound last year. It seems it was lead by a former president and he’s the one that plugged Bin Laden with a carefully aimed head shot.

Main Street USA – (SatireWorld.com)

Seymour Twat still likes a few beers with the guys before hitting the streets once again in search of a job. Is he totally unhappy? No, Twat says girls always ask him how close does he have to get to really see it! It confuses him a great deal.
Down on Main Street USA, good jobs are in short supply, but nothing compares to the anxiety of a local man named Seymour Twat. For over 20 years Twat has sent out resume after resume only to receive those dreaded…’We’ll get back with you’ letters.

“I don’t understand it. I’ve sent out over 250,000 resumes to t

Simi Valley, CA-(satireworld.com)

The Ronald Reagan Library released previously unseen photos of a young Ronald Reagan holding an infant who’s no other than baby Joe Biden, the future vice-president of the United States.

Cape Hatteras, NC- (satireworld.com)

A U.S. Navy ship sunk during WWII has been found and the surviving crew of 18 sailors were rescued 20 miles off Cape Hatteras, N.C. says Coast Guard Commander Nelson Putty, who helped several of the emaciated sailors onto a rescue helicopter while camera crews filmed the daring transfer.

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)

The TSA announced a new weapon in the fight against international terrorism. Starting this week,all agents will be issued a set of X-ray vision glasses as part of an overall upgrade approved by Congress and a grant from DC Comics.

Folsom Prison, CA -(SatireWorld.com)

1960s hippie and cult leader Charles Manson was placed on half-way house release after a civil liberties appeal brought his case before the California Supreme Court. Manson was released and hastily driven away by friends in a 1969 Volkswagen mini bus.

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