"I realize this kind of thing has happened hundreds of times before," the Sgt. said, "but somehow I never thought that if I posted something racist it would be perceived in the only way it could possibly be perceived."
Lead poisoning in the water didn't do it. Running out of fresh water to distribute didn't do it. But the Governor is optimistic that the new outbreak of Legionnaires' disease "will make it happen."
To increase the chances of the outgoing Speaker landing on their staff roster, lobbying groups are competing in the luxury hankie arena for the day Boehner hits the ground sobbing.