DENVER (The Barbed Wire) - Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning is fuming this week amid rumors he used human growth hormone (HGH) to recover from surgery several years ago. Al Jazeera, the source of record for football in the United States, claims in a report that Manning was supplied steroids from a clinic in Indianapolis in 2011.
Davenport, IA – Dallas Northcutt and his son, Lucas, decided that an uncharacteristically cold and snowy December day provided a perfect opportunity to get out onto the local hills and go sledding after a great Christmas holiday. Lucas got his snow pants on, grabbed his sled, and bundled up to get ready for an amazing afternoon. Dad didn’t grab his sled this time like he normally does.
NEW YORK (The Barbed Wire) - The Republican presidential field is scrambling this week to find a way forward after the shocking, recent departures of John McCain's BFF, Lindsey Graham, and former New York governor George Pataki. The announcements also crushed the dreams of millions who were hoping to see the first male president named Lindsey.
Denver, CO – Gerald Buckhalter’s family did not expect to be planning his funeral today. The 32 year old park ranger swallowed three cyanide pills this morning and took his own life. The only evidence left behind is a voicemail that Gerald left for his friend at 8:43am. It was quickly released by police so further such incidents could be avoided.
HOLLYWOOD (The Barbed Wire) - Still pissed off about the "whiteness" of the Oscars for the second year in a row, Hollywood celebrities are lining up to say they will not be voting in 2016 because the Democratic presidential field is also too white. "Are you telling me there wasn't ONE brother out there qualified to run this year?"
Ben Carson - the walking myth.
Google is launching a new online accountancy service, Google Diddle, just in time for the tax return deadline of 31 January.
Police are to begin a controversial tupperware amnesty due to tupperware users never f*cking getting them back.
“Her questions about immigration reform were out of line,” Rubio said. “I was standing my ground, per accepted Florida law. She had it coming.”
CHARLOTTE — Carolina Panthers third-string quarterback Joe Webb attempted to get some attention today off of all the cov…
Manned by an all gay crew, the USS Tennessee Williams is a Virginia-class attack submarine capable of shooting missiles and all sorts of stuff, its Captain Marcelo McGary says.
CLEVELAND — LeBron James said today that there will be some adjustment getting used to new head coach Tyronn Lue, the bi…
“It’s both magnificent and horrifying,” tweeted Stimpson as the waitress placed the enormous burger before him. “Much like America, truth be told.”
SANTA CLARA, CA — Peyton Manning may not be sure yet about his future in football, but he’s sure about the car his close…
In an unprecedented scandal that has the U.S. Census Bureau reeling, it has been revealed that New Hampshire is actually a small state of no particular significance.
PORTLAND, OR — "We had no idea the nasty stench that stuff was covering up."