In a bid to secure thousands of low-paying jobs that no American wants, a caravan of workers from Central America stormed the US border with a goal of replacing roofs, harvesting farm produce, cleaning up hotel rooms, and generally taking care of the US population against their will.
Using 1.2 trillion dollars of US treasury bills it controls as collateral, the Chinese government today agreed to step in and purchase American farms going bankrupt due to the ongoing trade war waged by the president. US farmers will be permitted to continue speaking English, says the Chinese government.