TheNilAdmirari

The Pentagon – (satireworld.com)

The nuclear-powered USS Grover Cleveland recently left the shipyards at Portsmouth and completed an exhaustive four month series of naval sea trials in the North Atlantic Ocean. The Cleveland, which is as long as the Empire State Building is tall, completed the submerged portion of the trials where the aircraft carrier evaded surface detection and cruised at a classified depth and speed for almost a month.

Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com)
Beverly and Gladys Morris are living the high life after finding several large gold nuggets in their collard greens. Better known to locals as the ‘fat girls,’ 380lb Gladys, and her sister 420lb Beverly proudly showed the half-dozen gold nuggets which weighed a startling 17.5 ounces. Sisters Harriet and Bernice drove down from Memphis to help search for more in the family’s 5 acre cow pasture.

DES MOINES, Iowa (The Adobo Chronicles) - Since he launched his bid to be the Republican nominee for president of the United States, Donald Trump has made many promises, but nothing has caught the attention of the media and electorate more than what he said today in Iowa, on the eve of the first caucus of…

Whig CA: (satireworld.com)

The town of Whig CA was founded by Atheists, but the town’s population according to the latest US Census is only about 500 and still dwindling. The most popular sport is fox hunting, as males out number females by a ratio of two to one.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - It has been widely rumored that if elected next president of the United States, Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders will nominate Barack Obama to the first vacancy that will occur on the Supreme Court. Well, that time has come with the passing of Justice Antonino Scalia. The problem is, neither…

Washington DC – (satireworld)

Chief Justice John Roberts, 97, and fellow associate justice Ruth Bader ‘Meinhof’ Ginsburg, 104, will be tested this evening amid growing concerns neither ‘has shown much sign of life’ ever since colleague Antonin Scalia was found RIP on Saturday.

Dallas, Texas – (satireworld.com)
Rockers Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby have a few kind words for their fans…’We love you guys!’ Ever since the rock group ‘The Lee Harvey Oswald Band’ was formed fifty years ago, success still seems to have followed them wherever they play.

Prompted by news the Islamic State terror group, also known as ISIS, is facing a cash shortage, Louisiana Treasurer John Kennedy has proposed 400 measures the group could take to balance its budget.

Reno, NV – (satireworld.com)

After another gagging event during a $650,000 speaking engagement at a LBGT event Hillary finally coughed up the problem…a giant Hairball some say may be linked to “close personal assistant” Hummer Wiener!

Tuscany, Italy – (satireworld.com)
The Italian government was dumbfounded after hearing reports that the famous Tower of Pisa fell. Long touted as an impossible building that had an accurate description attached to its name, the 183 foot tower fell with a loud crack and thud as crowds of sweaty tourists from Russia swelled around its base.

Following a recent survey of marine wildlife off the coast of Cornwall police are investigating reports than an illegal money-lender, or 'loan shark', may have been sighted patrolling shallow waters in Newquay bay.

LSU’s live tiger mascot said he’s more willing to attend home football games with sophomore quarterback Brandon Harris at the helm.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - In an exclusive video interview with The Adobo Chronicles,  former Secretary of State and Democratic candidate for president Hillary Clinton finally broke her silence regarding leading GOP presidential candidates Donald Trump and Ben Carson. Clinton was asked what she thought so far about her potential rivals in the 2016 general elctions,…

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Yesterday's announcement by the World Health Organization (WHO) that bacon and processed meats cause cancer will go down in history as the bleakest day in the culinary world. Reactions to the news ranged from disbelief to anger to frustration -- pretty much like the reactions we see in people…

DENVER, Colorado (The Adobo Chronicles) - The Republican National Committee (RNC), disappointed by last night's conduct of the GOP presidential debate on CNBC, announced that it has decided on a major change in the next televised debate. Reince Priebus, chair of the RNC, slammed CNBC immediately after the GOP debate hosted by the network ended Wednesday night. Priebus…

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - While presidential sister, actress and TV host Kris Aquino will have her eyes on Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, the rest of the voyeur world will be watching U.S. President Barack Obama who will reportedly wear a new hairstyle when he visits Manila for…

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles ) - In a no-holds-barred interview with The New York Times, controversial CNN anchor Don Lemon answered all sorts of questions -- from why he thinks the missing Malaysia Airlines plane could have been swallowed by a black hole, to why he smelled marijuana in the air during his coverage of…

PARIS, France (The Adobo Chronicles) - U.S. President Barack Obama has finally broken his silence over the Philippine presidential race that's turning out to be the most controversial ever in the political  history of the former American colony. Speaking to reporters in Paris where he is attending a world summit on climate change, Obama said, 'I…

BAGUIO CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - It all started with a photograph: a lone chicken crossing a pathway in front of a Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) restaurant in Baguio City, Philippines.  The chicken seemed oblivious to the fact that the building behind her slaughters hundreds of its kind every single day as part of…

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) - Money, they say, can buy anything.  Including elections.  And looks. That's exactly what billionaire Donald Trump is doing in pursuit of his presidential ambition. Unfazed by widespread outrage over his latest tirade against Muslims -- calling for shutting them out of the United States -- Trump has come to…