GOP Candidates vie to top each other’s insults after Trump successfully mocks Fiorina WASHINGTON, DC — Donald Trump says he was only talking about Carly Fiorina’s “persona” — not her looks — when he suggested that shuddering Republicans couldn’t possibly vote for “that horsey, arrogant, self-satisfied anorgasmic face.”
Labor Day is noted mostly for being a transition day. Labor Day. The last plastic souvenir sports bottle of lemonade on the dying coals of summer. Not so much a festive celebration as a beacon for the halfway point between 4th of July and Thanksgiving. The spot on the calendar where fireworks switch to Jack-O-Lanterns.
Wouldn’t it be nice if marital life could be summarized as neatly as financial news? It’s always amused me that financial reporters write as if all economic behavior can be reduced to a haiku-length recitation of cause and effect.
by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
Union-busting to enrich greedy owners should not be celebrated. Occasionally, I see something that is so bizarre, so out of place, so wrong that I have to assume I’m hallucinating. For example, I could have sworn I was delusional when I heard about the National Park Service’s Pullman National Monument in Chicago. George Pullman?
Kim Davis promises to end the hypocrisy and start enforcing “God’s law” in all cases. Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis is still not issuing marriage licenses, invoking “God’s authority,” despite a rebuke from the Supreme Court on her lawyer’s appeal.
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
An interview with editorial cartoonist Brian Gable When you’re due some money and you’re informed that “the check’s in the mail,” there’s always the possibility that the sender is indulging in a bit of prevarication and wishful thinking. But when you know that Brian Gable’s brilliant editorial cartooning is invariably in the Toronto Globe...
Crimes against comedy: The demise of Adam Sandler Pixels, the big screen equivalent of horse shit, came on the heels of The Cobbler, the biggest stinker of Adam Sandler’s career (which was also his lowest-grossing title ever). In the realms of artistic credibility, Hotel Transylvania has been his only respectable offering recently...
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
Do you ever get tired of habitually checking your mobile phone notifications 3 minutes before you brush your teeth in the morning? The excitement over the social internet doesn’t seem to be tapering down anytime soon, but that doesn’t stop us...
Donald Trump: How do you parody a parody? Yeah, I hear what you’re saying. “For all you political comics, Donald Trump must be a dream come true. Manna from heaven. Slam-dunking from a step-ladder. Swimming in a sea of beer.” Oh sure, there are jokes. 1. Trump’s presidential campaign is like a baboon’s butt.
The Tony Award-Winning San Francisco Mime Troupe continues its 56th season with free performances of “Freedomland.” A door is blown off its hinges! Into a blasted room of scarred walls and shattered windows, armed with M-16’s, America’s bravest duck and dodge for cover, finally training their deadly gunsights on … an old black man.
Subway’s longtime spokesman, Jared Fogle, will be featured in major biopic. Once called “America’s 6-inch sweetheart,” Jared Fogle, Subway’s longtime spokesman, now finds himself in a world of trouble. In the words of Frederick DeLuca, Subway’s co-founder, “Jared began and ended his career trying to squeeze into smaller pants.”
Donald John Trump’s poll surge has me thinking that Johnny Gentle, a character in David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest might possibly be a prediction made by the late author. Johnny Gentle is written as a former singer and now President of the United States ...
Iowa decides to highlight ‘true nature of American politics’ by penning presidential candidates. This year’s crop of Presidential weeds… er… candidates made their appearance this week at the traditional starting showcase for the presidential primaries, the Iowa State Fair. But this time, the circus was presented in stock pens, “as it should be."
The Donald, likely an insult comic in another life, sits like a King. Paul Lewis, a British journalist at The Guardian best known for his award-winning investigation into the demise of Hard Rock Café t-shirts, has just returned from traveling across the USA with Donald Trump. Wowing audiences and shrugging off numerous death threats...
Living life as mosquito bait I love summer. And guess who else adores these balmy August days? The local mosquito population! When I step outside, if there’s a mosquito within miles, it will start heading in my direction — as will all of its brothers and sisters — eagerly anticipating a delicious snack.
Meet Generation Y, aka the Millennials. They answer every question with a shrug. They use sepia-toned Instagram filters to boost their confidence, and the only way to kill a vampire from this demographic is with a hand-carved mahogany stake. Yes, people, meet Generation Y, more commonly known as the Millennial Generation.
‘Kim Jong-un scares the crap outta me,’ which makes him qualified, says Trump. Speaking on Meet the Press this morning, The Donald was again in rare form, using his particular brand of “shock politics” to keep his lead in the race for the GOP nomination for President.