Titled, "Making English the Official Language of the World", the order would effectively ban the use of any other language across the globe.
President Trump appointed a mentally disabled man to be the new Executive Director of the National Science Foundation today.
Known for for his roles in "Midnight Express", "The Elephant Man" and "V for Vendetta," Hurt, who was 77, was fortunate enough to pass away just six days into the Trump presidency.
White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer used the majority of his daily briefing today to discuss findings that, once all are confirmed, Donald Trump's cabinet will have the largest penis size of any cabinet ever assembled in US history.
Despite his disappointment over his team leaving San Diego for Los Angeles, former Chargers fan Scott Lowry says he's looking forward to spending his extra future Sundays getting drunk and picking fights with people around his own home.
The CIA issued a statement today that they are investigating evidence that the Chinese government intervened to help Tennessee Governor Elect Yang Zhipeng win that state's highest office in last November's election.
Acknowledging the 'overwhelming impression' a typical search result their product has on most people, MegansWatch.org has decided to go ahead and just list people in your neighborhood who aren't convicted sex offenders.
Within hours after successfully lobbying the International Union for the Preservation of Nature to designate the world's remaining musicians an endangered species, dozens of iconic artists have begun to be put into protective custody in the US, Britain, and other countries around the world.
Congresswoman Gloria Applecart (R-IN) voiced her opposition to the funding of Alzheimer's Disease research just weeks after being diagnosed with the degenerative neurological disease herself.
Bingo, the three-legged miracle dog who survived Hurricane Katrina to somehow track her family down 300 miles away, has reportedly long since died.
In a surprising development that has left your sister Kelsey, your cousins Michael and Courtney, and millions of others shaking their collective heads, your Aunt Becky has been tapped as the country's first official National Chief News Inspector.
Members of a local church converged outside a local strip mall in Canyon Creek, Arizona Saturday morning to provide free advertising for the Monroe Thomas Women's Health Clinic located there, passerby report.
Calling it a 'total disaster', president-elect Donald Trump pledged in a video clip posted on YouTube today that he will scrap Michelle Obama's Let's Move initiative on his first day in office.
Christie, the current Governor of New Jersey, would be America's first ambassador to the island nation since it was invented by Trump this morning.
The election is finally over, and (thank goodness;), its almost time for the holidays! Here are a few tips to help make yours great again!
Calling President Elect Donald Trump 'a dangerous liberal', Nancy Pelosi unleashed a barrage of invective against the GOP and minorities this morning as a tacking Democratic leadership attempt to reinvent themselves as the more racist of the two parties.
Americans in cities around the country are reporting long lines at the top of the nation's tallest bridges. Significantly higher than the day after any election in modern history, this year's turnout is seeing wait times to jump as long as two hours.
Eager to tip the election in their candidate's favor, hundreds of Donald Trump volunteers have taken to the backwoods to turn out the hermit vote.
I don't care if I miss the bus. I don't wanna go back to work. And you can't make me! Please don't make me. I'm old and sickly. And I don't wanna. All the other employees are going to be less than half my age, and they're going to laugh at me.
Frustrated consumer Greg Brengle took to social media today to bemoan an inadequate supply of new porn on the internet.