A formerly beloved celebrity activist and one of social media’s most popular figures, George Takei, has turned to the dark side, it has been declared.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): The Pentagon announced today a new Lockheed Martin F-35 Joint Strike Fighter had lost over a dozen dogfights to a 1917 Sopwith Camel biplane. The June 18th engagements showed the World War I-era Sopwith Camel exhibited "superior maneuverability and fighting aptitude" compared to its F-35 opponent.
Black people have agreed to expel Don Lemon from the black race due to his stupidity and his habit of driving people mad with his opinions.
After transcripts went public from a 2005 deposition that shows Bill Cosby admitting to using quaalude on women so he could have sex with them, his PR team announced today that he plans to use the publicity to promote his new movie, "Quaalude to a Kiss."
Actor and comedian said sitting around complaining to Larry King about kids today while waiting for the statute of limitations to kick in "was one of the most rewarding distractions of my career."
NEW YORK CITY (The Barbed Wire) - The Donald announced today that because he was tired of listening to all the crap in the media about Hillary Clinton's inevitability in 2016, he has called the media's bluff and paid enough voters to back him - they're now all under contract to do so.
Britons to be Banned from Sniffing Own Farts under new Legislation Cracking Down on Legal Highs. Warnings From Experts that Low Quality Imported Farts Could be Responsible for Serious Illnesses and even Deaths Among Fart Sniffing Clubbers.
After decades of keeping its true identity a secret, Pluto has announced that it is not actually a planet. Pluto is a star.
SACRAMENTO (TheSkunk.org) — In the midst of the worst drought ever recorded in the history of the Golden State, thirsty residents are turning to recycled urine dispensaries to quench themselves and their families. Businesses have sprouted up and down the state, processing human urine and bottling it for human consumption.
There were hopes that Bingo's unprecedented educational accomplishments would herald a new era of human-canine understanding, presenting society with a perspective unfettered by human conventions and limitations. But Bingo's discourses have so far not met these expectations.
A royal spokesman today revealed that Hitler made secret visits to Buckingham Palace in 1933 for tea with members of the royal family.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Vice President Joe Biden briefed media today on his upcoming schedule, the status of several projects his office is working on, and his mastery of a deadly effective karate move that is virtually impossible to defend. “We’ll be in Omaha on Wednesday and Boise the following day,” Biden said, “And I’m going to request…
Rick Perry said he intends to bring in mandatory gun ownership for everyone should he be elected president in 2016.
David Cameron plans to adopt India’s caste system in the UK to bring the country more in line with the Victorian era.
Gun safety tips of questionable integrity.
America's youngsters lead the world in swearing and name calling proficiency, a new study shows.
Cecil the lion will become the first animal canonized as a saint by the Catholic Church it was announced earlier today.
Can you speak up? I have shit in my ears. MARYVILLE, Arkansas—GOP presidential hopeful and former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee visited Miss Cynthia Parker’s first grade art class at Maryville Elementary School today, where he reportedly left the entire class in awe when he displayed his own impressive artistic talent by drawing a remarkably detailed…
The Conservative party will from now on base their handling of the migrant crisis on hit TV show The Walking Dead.
Office workers at TechDorling Inc. have spent the last year working hard to not broach the subject of the Black Lives Matter movement.