Jakerhodes

After an image was released to the public of Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Charles, Prince William and Price George, the British public reacted warmly to the cheeky grin on the young Prince George’s face. It’s a public reaction that has not sat well with his grandfather, Charles.

‘It’s imperative for our future that we remain a member of the EU,’ said Cameron. ‘Do you really think our government is going to get any less cruel after I step down? No, it’ll only get worse. If you want protection from us then vote to stay in the EU.’

It all started in a little cafe in east London where owner Arthur Moonbeam (real name John Billington) decided to quite literally sell his own produce to customers. Arthur puts a little of himself in every milk order.

‘It all happened so quickly,’ Gregg told us. ‘I phoned the hospital and they said it was best I drove her in. Maureen was making a terrible fuss but I thought we had plenty of time before the baby arrived. How wrong I was. The next thing I knew the baby’s head had appeared and I hadn’t even called for the ambulance.’

The iconic muck was a staple of many streets and back alleys until as recently as the late 90s. Now though it will never been seen again as the last remaining piece of white dog shit was sucked up by a vehicular street sweeper.

The offer came on the back of Cruz soundly beating Donald Trump in the Wyoming Republican convention.

'Trends come and go and they have to be discarded somewhere. It started with the odd beanie hat floating in the water but then we had reports of fixie bikes being dredged out of the depths.'

Parents across the UK are outraged by the law change which will effectively ban all joy from childrens’ birthday parties.

The Rams were quick to take advantage of their new LA home by using their Hollywood connections to sweeten the deal and ensure themselves of the first pick in the 2016 draft.

‘I’ve never been so insulted in all my life. The “dodgy” I understand but “Dave”? I’m not a fucking commoner. I’ll see him roasted on the fires of hell for that insult,’ Cameron is reported to have said to his staff.

Lucy’s post about her situation went viral to the point that it reached members of The Bangles. They denied being psychic or that they deserved any of the credit.

Carter was supposed to be sending off a fleet of B-52 bombers but a mailing error saw the contract delivered to B-52s frontman Fred Schneider who was only to happy to receive an offer for a paying gig.

Already the excitement is palpable as thousands are in attendance at the Aintree racecourse, with the men in their suits and the women dressed as their favourite jockeys. It’s a grand day for horse racing and no race is grander than the Grand National.

The audacious plan was announced by Alex Salmond who admitted he was no fan of vegetables.

The couple – Andy Reading (29) and Louise Palmer (28) – made the decision to fill the empty void in their relationship with a child after days of awkward silence forced an interaction between them.

Cameron said: ‘This whole tax thing is silly. Let’s talk about the things that really matter – like whether I fucked that pig or not. That’s what the people really want to know. And I’d like to say that I’ve never had traditional sex with a pig.’

The loss came just days after Donald Trump got his head stuck in a bucket whilst hosting a campaign rally in Wisconsin, and there is clearly no love lost between the the former star of TV’s The Apprentice and The Badger State.

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been accused of ‘taxi evasion’ by Boris Johnson in an attempt to cover up some much more serious accusations about members of his own party.

Hogan has used the money made from his successful lawsuit against Gawker to buy a majority holding in the wrestling company and plans to unveil himself as the new owner tonight during the biggest WWE show of the year.

David, 13, (who prefers to be called Raphael Darkwing) says he has bigger plans for his life.