Washington—President Obama announced today he is not going to have a typical lame duck last term. For his final year in office, the President plans to acquire as many guns and Holy Bibles for his “personal collection” as possible. Obama told reporters, “I want to do something good while I’m still in office because, let’s…
Kidding….they’re just heading to Colorado on a road trip.
On a more positive note: Helmand is kind of a shit hole anyway. * The above image may not actually be the Afghani town of Helmand.
10. Despot Housewives 9. It’s Always Sunny in Damascus 8. Arrested Dismemberment 7. Breaking Vlad 6. My So Called Rights 5. Buffy the Free-Thought Slayer 4. I Love Lucifer 3. All in the Gas Chamber (endless SS office hijinx) 2. The ISIS Right And the number one Discord dictatorial sitcom of all time goes to:…
Ottawa—Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudaeu announced today as many as 40% of the recently relocated Syrian refugees have already frozen to death. The challenge of transitioning individuals from a desert region to the great white north has proven too great for many. The Prime Minister was saddened, yet confused by the news: “We gave every one…
“Prancer took a ground-to-air missile right in the keister last year. Luckily, he’s into that kind of thing.” —Santa Claus *Blitzenkreig & Holly Jolly Jihad joke both removed by the editor and repackaged for Humorfeed.
Dog-whistle politics is a term that describes statements made by political candidates and people in elected positions phrased in ways intended to galvanize support from like-mined voters. At the same time such political revenuers try to avoid repulsing voters who are on the fence. “Family values” might be an example of a dog-whistle. Lately a…
“This may be the most significant blow to X-Mas since Seal Team Soros took out FAO Schwartz.” —General B. Humbug
Le Bourget, FR—World leaders reconvened in France today at the request of the Heat Miser. November’s meeting at the same venue was a multinational effort hailed as “the planet’s last, best hope to stave off the impact of climate change before the Force Awakens opens.” After a thorough Palinesque vetting process, The GOP chose The…
“Come with me if you want to leave. I’ll be wetback. AstalaVisa please.” —Arnold Schwarzenegger
Springfield, ??—Kwik-E Mart owner, Apu Nahasapeemapetilo, has experienced an increase in Muslim bias in recent weeks. The business owner points directly to several sermons by one Reverend Timothy Lovejoy of The First Church of Springfield. The store owner claims the Reverend is intentionally inciting violence against Muslims through controversial Sunday scripture quotes, such as: ‘Blessed…
Over the years I have been hard on all forms of fundamentalism, regardless of the particular brand. So, Mr. McDooris, I see your “the Qur’an was revealed to Muhammad” myth and raise you a “burning Bush” one (which, incidentally, should have happened due to his war crimes). Whereas I expect more from our own, you expect less and…
“Ge, ge, ge, I’m gonna git’ those Duke Boys!” —Roscoe P. Coltrane
If you know so much, Mr. Zano, then why is Trump remaining so popular? It seems all of you little cartoons haven’t made a dent in old Orange Helmet. I’ve not been a fan of Trump. In fact, I have not spoken a word in support of his run for the Presidency. I see Trump…
Yeah… I’m looking at you Peter O’Toole. Full controversial video here.
Early in the 21st century, Republicans decided to untether themselves from reality, or more accurately, have someone decide for them. Fox = news and morality = pews so no critical thinking necessary. How do they continue to gain seats with this record? Amidst the Age of Information, how have they dragged such a large faction of our country…