President Trump called the Democratic Republic of Congo this morning to congratulate Thomas 'Machete' Margai on a decisive victory that saw him re-elected as the African nation's President yesterday.
Returning from his latest sojourn to Mar-a-Lago this morning, The President was surprised to discover that Secretary of Agriculture Tom Green has painted The White House plaid during his absence.
Looking to "connect with some of our more urban youth", Secretary of Education Betsy Devos welcomed a group of students from Chicago's John Brown Middle School aboard her yacht today for an afternoon fishing excursion.
Spanning the previously impassable Tecumseh Valley Gorge in a dizzying 3 weeks after the repeal of several federal regulations that had been slowing its construction, the 422 foot long combination steel-wood suspension-truss bridge will connect an estimated 1 million vehicles per year from Morgantown to Lewisburg.
Coming quickly on the heels of Communications Director Hope Hicks's own resignation last week, the latest member of Trump's inner-circle and the 205th staffer to quit the administration in the last two months is another major blow to a presidency in turmoil, some say.
Raising the stakes in a looming trade war, an angry Canada announced today that it will respond in part to President Trump's announced tariffs on foreign steel and aluminum with a ban on US porn.
Responding to a strong backlash against the gun industry and its political advocates in the wake of the Parkland massacre last week, the National Rifle Association pointed out today that the United States actually trails several other countries in mass shootings.
President Trump today renewed his call to promote the mentally ill after a mass shooting at the hands of 19 year-old Nikolas Cruz that left 17 high school students dead in Parkland, Florida this week.
Paul, who suffered a similar attack by his other neighbor three months ago, was reportedly struck repeatedly in the face and bludgeoned with a parcel he had been collecting from his mailbox at the time.
President Trump called on the Pentagon to organize a parade in Washington DC later this year. "I want this parade to be the biggest ever. The biggest, most fabulous," the President said.
As a lifelong politician who has faithfully served Oklahoma from the state capitol to the US Congress and now as Governor these past 7 years, I'm nothing if not in tune with the prevalence of new trends. The Me-too movement, for example. #Time'sUp. I get it and am in full support. That being said, I'd like to present to you, my darling, this jumbo-size Ziploc bag of my own semen which I have been accumulating over these past six months.
The group, members of an Oslo church traveling together to visit Disney World, were all relieved of their international passports and conferred immediate American citizenship upon their arrival in Orlando.
The story of a Rusty Wheeler, an 8 year-old boy who fell down a well in Horford County, Kentucky Tuesday continues to threaten the ceaselessness of news coverage being conferred the Trump White House.
Shockingly now homeless since his fall from grace last Summer, the once monumental movie mogul allegedly exposed himself to an outreach volunteer when she attempted to give him a sandwich this weekend.
Coming just days after the rogue nation announced that it would participate in this year's Winter Olympic Games, the bobsled, reportedly capable of reaching a velocity of 1,300 MPH in under two seconds, would likely be hard to beat.
The dog, a male mutt named Dumbass, has reportedly been with the family since November, when he advised the President to endorse alleged child molester Roy Moore in his run for the US Senate...
With his family lacking health insurance and unable to pay for a pricey prosthetic, Jordan Liddle had resigned himself to being limbless long-term - that is until a group of his fellow Meriwether Lewis Middle School came together to give their friend a new lease on life.
President Donald Trump reviews the Netflix series "Dark"
Looking to keep up with other chains who are expanding their own selection of inexpensive items, McDonald's will introduce the 89c "Mystery Sampler" of partially consumed food to their budget menu this week.
Officials at the Environmental Protection Agency, the agency tasked with protecting human health and the environment, are now under order by the Trump administration to stop using words including "health" and "environment" in official documents and other communications.