"They need a tie-in brand of hotdog's to go with this series."
A man dressed as a man down the pub has won the Eurovision Song Contest for the first time in 60 years, it was revealed last night.
"I was hoping he would flip one of the pancakes onto his back and then he could hilariously run round and round at a glacial pace chasing his own tail! Disappointed."
Fears were growing last night that pandas, some as old as 5, were pooping too much from all the bamboo they eat, according to scientists.