It’s been a bad week for Brock. After being given a six month sentence for raping an unconscious girl, he now has to deal with a slapped wrist that may linger for several days.
‘Doctors, scientists and researchers have this all wrong. AIDS is nothing to do with sharing needles, unprotected sex, or whatever, it’s about wearing good quality socks. If you wear pristine socks then you’re not going to get AIDS. Simple as that,’ said Noel in an exclusive interview with us.
‘Do you mean to tell me that our government is just wasting our money? I can’t believe that for one moment,’ said Elisa Fu, 23.
After having several demonstrations hounded out of towns and cities across England, Britain First has decided that some positive PR is in order. Their first move is a new name.
Prentice has been off the booze for a full week but tonight she plans to enjoy the sweet of caress of the numbing properties of her one true love.
Vegas, 45, appeared on a chat show shortly after Murray’s French Open final loss to Novak Djokovic and ripped the dour Scotsman to shreds.
The studio believes that a remake is guaranteed money and wish to cash in on the rise of transsexual rights by casting Caitlyn Jenner. Jenner shot into the public limelight after announcing her gender change in 2015.
Franco has been a familiar sight on our streets for over a decade, entertaining the young and old alike. And that’s what makes his murder so shocking.
It was supposed to be the start of Alice getting her finances back on track after an expensive few months. She had set a budget she was determined to stick to; a budget that was easily broken within the first four days of the month.
Fan Chester Tickle told us: ‘Next Saturday is going to be huge with three games being shown in a row culminating in England v Russia. I plan to spend the whole day in the boozer talking rubbish with my friends but I have to earn permission from my wife. That’s why I’ve mowed the lawn and changed the bedding.’
Vardy lookalike Lee Chapman was in London visiting friends when a team official pulled up alongside him and invited him to visit Emirates Stadium. Thinking it was a joke, Chapman acquiesced to the offer.
Buildings were destroyed and hundreds of thousands of people declared missing presumed dead after what is being dubbed as the biggest ‘catasstrophe’ of the 21st century.
‘Mr Johnson only has a very small amount of actual brain tissue. The tissue seemed to be covered in a cluster of testicles. It was densely packed but one had broken off and shifted to the far-right. We decided to operate and remove the testis. You can only imagine our surprise when we ran a DNA analysis and discovered it to be Hitler’s missing testicle.’
Fletcher, 57, made the switch from his Volvo to a smart car after his reputation for being hung like a horse made its way around town.
Police arrived at the scene after receiving reports of a pungent aroma coming from Mr Gerkin’s abode.
The light bulbs use a newly invented compound called bullesium which allows the bulbs to illuminate a room faster and brighter than any previous energy saver.
The hairy personality, real name Scott Howard, is reported to be drinking a keg of beer a day and has ballooned in weight. His once shiny coat is now matted and patchy with mange.
Club Tropicana opened to much fanfare in 1983 with its owners splashing out big money on the venue as well as its signature tune, as made famous by Wham. But in the end it was its free drinks policy that sunk the bar.
The complaint was made by a liberal group who organised an online petition on the matter. This marks the first time an online petition has ever been successful.
The gorilla, named Colin, rushed over to protect the small child who fell into the enclosure after what is being described as ‘lackadaisical parenting’. Colin shielded the young boy from the pack of screaming humans and took him to safety.