The Prime Minister has insisted he only ever employs ‘legitimate truth-avoidance techniques’ when talking to the British public, and denied accusations of truth evasion. Mr. Cameron has come under intense scrutiny this week for cagey comments about his tax affairs and previously owning shares in an offshore fund.
Catholics must believe that John McTiernan’s 1988 motion picture ‘Die Hard’ is a Christmas film, the Pope has said.
Describing it as ‘an indisputable article of faith’ as part of his statement on family values, Pope Francis took the highly unusual step of invoking the rarely wielded executive powers of Papal Infallibility, ending almost 28 years of bitter argument and debate.
Describing it as ‘an indisputable article of faith’ as part of his statement on family values, Pope Francis took the highly unusual step of invoking the rarely wielded executive powers of Papal Infallibility, ending almost 28 years of bitter argument and debate.
In a surprisingly frank interview David Cameron responded to calls for clarification on the Panama Papers scandal involving his father Ian Cameron by with unrestrained laughter and saying, "I honestly don't know how we're getting away with this shit!"
A 44-year-old man from Kent who has spent the last 5 years building his dream home has told how he had his testicles held and gooch gently teased by the hand of Grand Designs presenter, Kevin McCloud.
'We were at that point in the programme where Kevin sits you down and delights in finding out how much you've spent,' said Colin Mahoney, the owner.
However, in a build that had gone way over budget and three years past its deadline, the self-builder seemed reluctant to disclose any financial details to the show's host. 'I knew it was coming so when he finally popped the question, I told him t
'We were at that point in the programme where Kevin sits you down and delights in finding out how much you've spent,' said Colin Mahoney, the owner.
However, in a build that had gone way over budget and three years past its deadline, the self-builder seemed reluctant to disclose any financial details to the show's host. 'I knew it was coming so when he finally popped the question, I told him t
In an effort to cut down on postage, HM Revenue & Customs have decided to move closer to where the UK’s richest claim to live – the Cayman Islands, Bermuda and Chipping Norton. Disclosure that billions of untaxed revenue has been channelled to Panama reminds us of Matthew 19:24: ‘It is easier for a canal...
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With the ominous news that Britain’s loss-making steel industry is to be sold off by Tata, David Cameron was said to be very excited about being given the opportunity to go “Full Thatcher” on a section of industrial workers. “Let’s be realistic here, we don’t get opportunities like this every day”, said Mr Cameron to...
The owner of a gold Bentley is to receive taxpayer support in an effort to pay off an £80 parking fine confirmed David Cameron. The Saudi owned car was hit with a penalty notice after failing to display a parking ticket in a Knightsbridge pay-and-display parking bay. Mr. Cameron said the government was doing ‘everything it...
An Aberdeen man who posed for a selfie with an alleged hijacker says the skid marks found in his underpants by airport security guards were fake. Cypriot authorities said they found Mr.Innes had soiled his underwear following a routine medical examination but the former oil worker maintains he had shat his pants on purpose as...
Following another Bank Holiday weekend washout, global-warming deniers cite the latest Easter Monday storm as ‘proof’ that extreme weather is not caused by global warming but is directly caused by British Bank Holidays. “It is not just a coincidence that bad weather always occurs on Bank Holidays,” claims Cameron, “we predict that by cancelling Easter,...
Jenny Sutherland, 46, from County Durham lost her job last week after her class of year 9s successfully managed to spread a rumour round the school before her ‘social media experiment’ Facebook post reached Australia. ‘Mrs Sutherland would have been fine, had the rumour the kids chose to spread not been that they’d seen her...
The FBI has demanded Facebook unlock all accounts to aid its fight against terrorism.
The American law enforcement agency has been engaged in a long-running battle with Apple for it to unlock the phone of a terrorist and now is trying a similar approach with another tech giant.
The American law enforcement agency has been engaged in a long-running battle with Apple for it to unlock the phone of a terrorist and now is trying a similar approach with another tech giant.
Buckingham Palace today announced an additional decree as well as allowing pubs to remain open later during the Queen's 90th birthday celebrations. A spokesman said it has also sanctioned that a celebrity, chosen by public vote, can be publicly executed at 11:59 pm as the finale of her celebrations.
‘Look’ George Osborne told journalists today, ‘I really couldn't care less about the disabled, your stinky old granny, the losers who don't vote Tory or anyone who isn't me, so why apologise?’
David Cameron will make the case to Parliament for launching a bombing campaign on the Tory Party in an effort to end its Civil War and bring peace to the party.
Ahead of voting if Britain should stay in the EU this May, the people of this country will face an even more important choice – whether or not the word 'Brexit' should make it into the Oxford English Dictionary.
Chaos swept the Democrat party machine last night when an anonymous source claimed to have evidence that former president Bill Clinton recently had sex with his own wife.
'I heard the equipment turn on and immediately saw Brown's feet creeping towards the cubicle door. I could tell they were his feet because he was wearing purple snakeskin shoes that were slightly pixellated.
Scientists in Stevenage were celebrating last night after developing a formula that provides a ‘perfect Daily Mail reader comment’, guaranteeing the optimum number of green arrows regardless of the article topic in question.
'We were watching the news as North Korea lobbed some shells into an empty expanse of sea, then South Korea did exactly the same and we looked at each other and said 'now that is pointless'! Richard laughed and suggested I try and get both countries on the phone.'